Hello everyone, new to this forum, and let me tell everyone now that I mean no disrespect with this post if anything I say is offensive I am very sorry to you all. I am a 17 year old teenage guy, I play football am in choir and on the throws team. About 3-4 months ago I was at a football game at a local community college and then I saw a gay guy cheerleader and I pressumed he was gay, an I'm not sure if I thought he was good looking or something but then I asked myself what if I'm gay. And since that day the question has tormented me in saying "what if I'm gay" "do I like guys" "do I want to have sex with him" "do I think he's hot" "what if this guy kissed me would I like it". This also came up like 6-7 months ago, but I watched gay porn hated it and knew I wasn't gay. So this time around I watched gay porn and again didnt like it almost vomited (again mean no disrespect giving full story). But it didn't go away just stayed in my head. I went to a psychologist because this was all really bothering me. He said maybe I wasn't allowing myself to really enjoy it. So I tried to like it tried to get into it but if anything my penis got smaller. But the question remains. I have a girlfriend I love her, or believe I love her, I like kissing her touching her fucking her. I love eating her out and so much about her as well overall. She wAsnt the first girl I had sex with he is the 2nd. I really liked sex with the other girl an love having sex with my girl, I am fully attracted to her emotionally and physically. Before all this me and my friends would always act "gay" pretend to buttfuck each other, grope each others assess, slap each others asses, tell each other we ha nice asses, calling each other cuties, but I never worried about it because we were on the football team, had girls, never got hard when messing around. Even now, I feel so much more awkward because I fear what if I get a bonner what if I kiss m friends, but I literally had my friends head on my nuts and my penis shrunk again I believe (didnt check). And then in choir my teacher is gay and on my the guys in the higher choirs is gay as well. And then I randomly thought Matt is a cool guy I like him. Then I thought wait I like him wtf do I, and then the next day I realized I didn't it was just me messing with myself. I can admit a good looking guy because i became very close to my secuality because of football we would even say if a guy was sexy, never felt wrong, now it bothers me. I keep fearing the only way I will know Forsure is if I kiss a guy but when I think of kissing a guy I cringe, and don't like it at all the thought makes me shake. If anyone can help please it would mean a lot I have nothing against gays but I'm just lost and unsure about this and just nervous. I mean 17 years of straight thought never questioning letting this all be natural an then this, I feel like I'm forcing myself to have these thought. Please help
I would say it is rare to know 100% you are gay from the moment you are born and it is certainly not unusual to have some mixed up feelings emotions, myself it was much more gradual and went from 100% straight to "I can appreciate what a cute guy looks like" to "get me the cock now" and this took place over a good few years. I think the stock answer is sexuality is fluid and I think anyone straight who said they had never ever thought of what it would be like with another guy would be a liar. You are obviously thinking about it and I don't see that is particularly a problem at the moment and no reason to get yourself too worked up. Just let time ride out, it took me years to find out for definate what I was and I certainly at school wanted to be with the girls but had about 10% doubt. Personally that grew and is now 100% but not everyone is the same, you are the one who will find out whenever that will be.
Look, you sound like you're paranoid. You've definitely got a hang up about something. From what you've described, I don't think you are gay. If you are adamant that you do not even get the slightest bit aroused when watching gay porn, and you don't get aroused when a guy's head is on your nuts, and you cringe at the thought of kissing a guy, then there is little or no evidence that you are gay. Even if you did get a boner when spanking your teammates and commenting on each other's asses, I don't think that would be too out of the ordinary for a straight guy. I mean I have had some experiences like that on rugby tours with some of my friends (who are pretty much all straight), and they got boners when we played truth or dare, simply because what we were doing was sexual and exciting, and just because you can get briefly aroused at the thought of another guy doesn't mean that you're not straight. I'm gay, and I can get aroused sometimes at the thought of a hot girl. There is plenty of evidence that you are straight: you are fully attracted to your girlfriend — both emotionally and physically. Being able to appreciate the beauty and sexiness of another guy doesn't mean you're gay either. I'm sure you can appreciate a beautiful horse or a dog. It doesn't mean you want to have sex with either animal. And anyway, sexuality is complicated. People are complicated! You can't separate people into three groups; straight, bisexual and gay. Maybe you are 98% straight and 2% gay. But I say: what would be wrong with experimenting with a guy who you think is hot? See what you think, and confirm it for yourself? It's just a penis and just an ass. I'm gay and I'm open to experimenting with a girl just to see what it's like. (Though the thought of a vagina does make me cringe sometimes!) Maybe I'll like it! Yet, I think you've just given yourself a weird hangup about something. My friend's mom died of cancer when I was younger, and I convinced myself that something was going to happen to my mom. I thought about it non-stop even though there was no justification for it. This sounds kind of similar to what you're experiencing: there is very little evidence that you could be gay, and you seem to have concluded that you're not gay yourself. So how do you get rid of this hangup? Well, what helps for me is to think things through really logically. Maybe write a list with two columns, one with evidence that you're gay, and one with evidence that you're straight. From what you've said, the straight column will be filled and the gay one will be more or less empty. Then maybe your hangup will pass. But say if the gay one isn't completely empty... then it's definitely OK to experiment. You may be 10% gay and 90% straight, or anywhere in between 0–100% of either. Who cares! Just do what feels right for you.
"She wAsnt the first girl I had sex with he is the 2nd." there it is right there... the Freudian slip that reveals all!!! Just kidding. Relax. It's normal to question your sexuality. You could be a little bi or just curious at this time. Don't over think it. Don't dwell on it. Just proofread before you post
There's no reason to worry. You are definitely not gay if everything you're saying is true. You just sound paranoid and afraid of being gay. If you do ever crush on a man, you can deal with it when you do. But until you do, you have nothing to worry about. Don't worry honey, I'm sure you don't take offense when I tell you I feel the same way when I see those scary vagina things.
Thank you to all that have posted. I watche about 23 minutes of gay porn while standing it seems my penis goes away. And when sitting I feel like I'm getting a boner but never get a full one. I freaked out to the point of crying, I keep telling myself "hey if I like this then let me get a boner I mean shit even if Ido like it it doesn't mean I am gay" I never achieve a full or half or really anything. I had sex with my girlfriend and I freaking like it. A lot, but this just freaks me out. Again no offense but I don't vomit while watching the gay porn anymore because I've become almost use to it, but I find it very disgusting. Freaking out for no reason. I have not urge to want a guy, I mean yea I have had a thought of what if I kissed him or what if we had sex. But then again I have had thought of what if I fucked that pile or the cactus or that bird. What if I licked the wall. Need more help
