I'm in love with my best friend

I feel for you. I am in the exact same situation. Hang in there.

 

So how do you know you love her? This isn't a prying question - I think that I might be in the same situation, but it's all so confusing that I don't know.

However, I'm fairly certain that my friend is straight (not 100% though) - so I mentioned to my therapist that it's not OK for me to have these feelings for him, and he came back with "it's not OK for you to have the feelings, or it's not OK for you to express them? Those are two different things, you know". I hope that little tidbit can provide some clarity - it did for me.

Hang in there.

 

You might try telling her how you feel. If she says she has no feelings for you in a romantic way you continue to be friends. I would do just that.

 

I would say you know we have been friends and i wanted to tell you I Have recently realized that I am having deeper feelings. You may not feel the same and I don't expect you would.
I would never allow these feelings to destroy the friendship we have but I thought you should know.

You have placed the ball in her court and she will respond in some way. If she says wow I don't know what to say.
You respond by backing off a bit "Maybe I should have not said anything I value what we have as friends far to much."

Again you have let her make the decision on where you go from there. This is done in private and gently when you are both in a good mood.

 

l was in love with my best friend. l never told her because it was an unspoken thing, we basically shared a brain.

She wasn't into girls, we fooled around just short of sex but she just wasn't. in a way l almost think she wanted to be, but she wasn't. Though she always liked kissing me, she said.

we never talked much about her sexuality or why wevwere making out, it was just something that happened naturally. But every time we got to a point where it could go further, she let me know she couldn't do it and l was fine with that (obviously lol).

You have to respect that with another person, straight girls especially cannot just become interested in women if they aren't so inclined, no matter how much talk there is about female fluid sexuality. Even if your emotional connection couldn't be much deeper.

just a warning rant lol, my friend was awesome so she didn't care that l was totally in love with her and that it was obvious. Not all girls will react that way, l'd try to be very aware of the subtle tones of your interactions.

 

You are never alone with your best friend? You can't find a moment together? I don't understand this.

 

There has to be a time when this Harper is not around. She can't be with your best friend 24/7/365 If you have to call and set a time and say I would really like to talk in private without Harper around. Even if she says she would like to be better friends with you what do you do with this Harper? I am confused.

 

Sorry i misunderstood. It the hallway at school is not necessarily private. You have people walking by and going in and out of room and searching through lockers. I mean it really should be private as it is such an intimate part of yourself you are sharing. To do this after a class also does not allow Harper any time to formulate a response. She is in a rush and may balk because there are others around. She may feel inhibited in her response or even angry because you put her in such an awkward position in the halls of school.
Walk her home and talk on the way. Visit her home after school and go somewhere.

 

Do you ever see her outside of school? Do you go to her home or does she come to your home? If it is this difficult to be alone how would you ever have a relationship?

 

If she comes over you might talk to her there.You could gmail her as well. It would be not so personal. May I ask how old you two are? That may better explain the situation because it is still very confusing. I have never had a friend where we have not had alone face time at length almost daily.

 

Okay that works for me. Has she in any conversation ever mentioned some guy she is sweet on? Does she indicate she likes boys in any way or has she not even brought up the topic? Sorry if I seem nosy but I am trying to work out the best way to do this without ruining the relationship you have.