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Dealing with conservative culture ?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by legitawesome17, Feb 1, 2013.

  1. legitawesome17

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    Location:
    Calgary,Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hi guys,I really need advice.

    I live in Canada but I was born to Asian parents(although my mother
    has Spanish ancestry,I'm 1/8 White on her side,however people mistake
    me for Latino or Brazilian although I'm Asian).My parents hang out
    with Asians so much (Filipinos to be specific),hardcore Catholics and the
    culture is very conservative.Anything non heterosexual is frowned upon
    and gays are pariah.If you come out,the Filipino guys I know will think you're
    out to rape them in the @ss,although the girls will love hanging out with you
    more.My parents know I'm gay and so far they are the only liberal-minded
    Filipino adults I've met here.I guess I just got lucky.

    I feel isolated.I am "out" in my previous high school but we moved.I want to be
    true to myself but I am afraid I will be judged by my community and if my parent's
    friends find out e.g accidentally bump into me in the mall with a guy etc. they might
    take it against my parents and start gossiping about our family(trash talking and crab
    mentality is really a part of Filipino mentality).What can I do to compromise my culture
    and my sexuality. I have recently resorted to staying away from people in my race and
    started hanging out with other people not in my culture group.:confused:
     
  2. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Peabody, MA - USA
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    Feeling isolated has nothing to do with liberal or conservative it is a personal state of mind, it is self directed.

    Your parents prove this point.

    You simply have a case of basic human insecurity and uncertainty, which EVERY human has. Some choose to be locked in by this others plow ahead inspite of it.

    Only thing keeping you from happiness is you. This is not a rigged game of ring toss where others are responsible.

    You choose...

    Stuck
     
    #2 skiff, Feb 1, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2013
  3. photoguy93

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    I am white, so I don't really understand what it's like to be in a culture like this. I know it is very important to you.

    HOWEVER, I think that you need to decide what is important in your life. I mean, you are a human being. You seem like a very consctienstous person. I'd suggest branching out. Make friends from different cultures, backgrounds, religions, etc. That way, you won't feel so boxed in. You can play both games. You can have fun with people like me and then you can do your own things in your culture. One of my close friends is Korean. She's straight, but a totally liberal-minded, artsy fartsy, crazy college kid. She gets annoyed with her culture, but she still loves it because it's her life.
    And frankly, there's billions and billions of people on this planet. There's so many cultures and religions and ways of life. If you aren't willing to branch out to find happiness, then I don't know what to tell you. Are you really that set on people who are going to treat you so terribly? Find your happiness. Once they see how happy you are, maybe things will change.
     
  4. DeanIsHome

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    Hey, i guess i know what you mean, my moms Filipino and Dutch but she was born and raised a hardcore Catholic in the Philippines and so even though were in the U.S were really close with the local Filipino community which can be a hassle for me, What I've done is exactly what you've done except i do hang out with my Filipino friends because I've slowly (just started 2 days ago) started to tell them I just avoid anyone who has connections with my family because i know how they gossip a lot.