He's on my mind constantly. No matter what I'm doing or what he's doing, I wish I were by his side. He was the first one I opened up to and ever since he said we couldn't go any further than friends, I've been stuck on him. When he talks about his ex boyfriends coming to visit and when he cuddles with someone else, I get jealous. I wish I was the one with his arms around me. I think he is genuine when he tells me he just wants to be friends, and he believes I feel the same way. So why can't I get over him? Why can't I move on? I want to find someone. I love having someone. But ever since everything went on with him, I haven't been able to focus completely on anyone else. Not to mention I live in eastern Kentucky. It feels almost impossible to meet guys here. The LGBT community is still constantly frowned upon, and the alliance meetings and clubs on my college campus suck. So what am I supposed to do? Just sit around and wait while I slowly go insane? Watch him walk away to someone else, and beat myself up for screwing it up when we actually had something? Or just hope to whatever god is above that I get over it someday and hope time will heal it, or cover it up. Did I forget to mention...? I live with him...:bang:
You might have to move out and away from him as hard as that sounds. But are you still only 87% sure you are gay?
Fair enough...maybe I'm a bit more sure than "87%." But back on point: I'm not anywhere close to being financially stable enough to move out. Especially not after the semester already started. And I'm still really good friends with him. I look up to him, and he's always been there to offer me advice on things, especially when it comes to coming out, or relationships, etc. Plus I have another roommate, and I don't want to have to explain to her why I'd be moving out. I've never been so hooked on someone, and I can't figure out why...
I would definitely move out. Give your heart some time to heal. If you still feel this way, you are practically torturing yourself by watching him be with other people and seeing him every single day. I've been trying to get over a girl for forever, so let's just say it has really helped that she moved away. It makes things a heck of a lot easier, so I suggest you do the same. Give yourself some distance until you're ready and feel like you can handle it. Best wishes! (*hug*)
That's part of the problem. I literally CAN'T move out. It's not possible. I just moved out of the dorm and into the house with him and the girl. It's much cheaper living here off campus, and I can't change living quarters in the middle of the semester, especially because the campus believes I'm commuting from my parents house. I have no choice but to live with him, and I'm in a year long agreement with the landlord. Maybe I can refocus the question. Is there an easier way to meet other guys? Maybe if I meet the right one, or at least someone I can be happy with, it will get my roommate out of my mind. But like I said in the original post, I live in eastern Kentucky, and my campus's LGBT meetings aren't productive in the least (I've been to a few, so I know this for a fact). Being somewhat still in the closet, I can't just go around asking cute guys if they're gay (like that would be acceptable if I were openly gay). But I can't find the motivation to come out completely until I find that special someone. It's a cycle I'm stuck in. A cycle that I have to sit inside, and having my roommate always on my mind is only adding to the torture.
I fail to see why you would be obligated to explain (to her) exactly why you would be moving out had that been an option? Have you no imagination, or ability to think up a good short little white lie? I know you are not moving out, but your thinking that you would need to share this with someone else - when actually it is simply not anyone's business. You need to get out, and get some fresh air if you can't move right now. Go to the gym and work out real hard, and think about other things. Meet some hot guys while you are there. Anyway, I would try and be a great sport, and be fun to be around. Stop the envy, and wishing this and wishing that, and be glad you have this amazing guy to look up to and lust after. Also be glad he told you the truth. many many guys here write about another hot guy that they can't figure out, does he like me, or not, or just friends, or what? Is he gay or bi, or straight? So many unanswered questions. Here you got the answers. Be glad you know the score, and are not wondering, and going crazy not knowing.
Yeah, the first step is to move out with him. I feel that same situation too, and it's kinda hard sometimes to control your emptions though it will take some time. Just focus yourself to other things or try to go out with your friends
