The more I search, the more confused I am.

I swear to god there is a label for every sexuality out there. Give it another 4 years and there'll be an identity for people who only like women with abnormal hair colours who hop on one leg and enjoy Mexican food.

Okay, so my point is.. every since I've explored the depths of sexuality and have discussed things with my asexual friend, I've been learning more about my sexuality which comes with more confusion. And I'm wondering if anyone of expertise can help me out here, I'd greatly appreciate it.

..Also if you mention that all of these labels are irrelevant or if you think it's fun to joke around or be a dick about it I'll probably laugh too please go away. щ(ಠ益ಠщ)


Anyway, here goes. Long story, cue the sad, mysterious music.

For the longest time I assumed I was asexual because I didn't feel anything towards anyone besides some occasionally crushing (so not aromantic). After I realized that I find women attractive, I assumed I was just completely gay and all of the sexual feelings were there and I was perhaps suppressing them for no reason. But now that I've been thinking about it, I fit the demisexual description to a T.

I mean, okay. I'm panromantic because I know I can feel those romantic gross feelings towards anyone if I'm attracted to them, but I know I'm not pansexual because I lack those sexual feelings for everyone. I claimed homosexuality before because I do find women physically attractive but I'm wondering if now my "admiration" for them was being confused with sexual attraction.

I don't masturbate whatsoever, and I'm not bs'ing here either lol. When I do, which is rare, it does nothing. And I don't do it to anything either. I've only watched porn a few times, mostly because of my dickhead friends who send it for a laugh, but that's about it. I never got any pleasure from it or enjoyed it other than feeling absolutely repulsed like I was going to throw up. I don't usually look at girls and think sexual thoughts, and I never seem to get horny at all or have barely any sex drive. I'm not on any antidepressants which supposedly kill your libido, I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I don't enjoy sex scenes, hearing about sex, or even looking at it. I can watch, but it does nothing at all for me.

Yet the odd part of this all is that I can envision myself actually having sex with another girl (and women only) but it seems kinda fake? Like maybe I'm conjuring up shit because I'm not sexually experienced and this is all a fantasy. And in my dreams a lot of romantic things occur so it's more like a really induced romantic attraction before the whole sex thing.

I could see myself doing it with another girl but only once I felt okay with it.. like once those sexual feelings came into place.

So, basically, do I sound like a panromantic, maybe homoromantic? Or Panromantic homosexual, or panromantic demisexual, or whatever else? Also, sorry that this was kinda vague, but I'm a little lost here. I wouldn't be throwing these terms around and I do just claim myself to be gay whenever someone asks in public, but it's nice to know what exactly works and what I actually do identify with. So many terms, I don't know.

I'm doing to identify as a tree and call it a day.

 

Yeah, labels are making me even more confused but I suppose I'm just curious.

So, panromantic would be considered the middle of asexual and pansexual, is what you're saying. I'm romantically attracted to anyone regardless. And demisexual covers panromantic? So I could just say demisexual for anything.

I think I'll just stick with panromantic. It makes it easier. Or panromantic homosexual.

My mind's going to explode with these terms.