So, I guess let me give a little context then I will get to the bulk of my post. Last Summer I embraced my bisexuality (with a fondness more for men), and ended up jumping into an LDR which ended about a month ago (it lasted around 7 months). Luckily we both parted ways still friends and with respect for one another, and not that it crashed. Now that I am on my own again and with my sexuality more cemented, I am craving to go out and meet some of those "other fish in the sea." However, I have never dated before my Ex-LDR, and did not give much thought to my likes or dislikes in possible SOs. Seeing what being with another person was like to an extent gave me somewhat of an idea, but now I feel confused and am in a new predicament which brings me to my main portion. I have been getting "crushes" on characters in comics and the like recently, and I keep noticing a pattern along my growing idea of what I like (they seem to be matching up with what I myself was finding I liked). I keep falling for characters like Shun from Morenatsu (have to go to his folder) and Buwaro from Slightly Damned, and other similar characters (and yeah, I'm furry, I apologize in advance if you do not like this). Essentially adorkable, naive, silly, cute, and innocent goofballs. My previous partner was very serious and stoic, and when he was humorous it was often sarcasm or mean spirited humor. That really turned me off I found out, even when I don't mind it so much in a normal friendship (that wasn't the only reason we broke up, but it helped lead to it). I guess my real questions are these: -Am I limiting myself by starting to build up these ideas of what I want in someone? (I would sort of like someone who has the above traits of those characters.) -What were some of your experiences with what you felt you wanted (and maybe what you ended up with if you have someone)? -Do people like that even exist, am I asking for too much? (has anyone met someone like this, maybe dated them even?) -Any other advice you might have for someone who has never dated offline before (I know the ropes a bit, but good advice is always welcomed!). I am sorry if this is an odd set of questions, and that I probably said more than was necessary, but thank you in advance to any who respond!
I feel that defining who you will like by who/what you have liked is irrelevant and destructive. If it does anything, it will make you filter your options and miss connections. You should worry about whether you like the person then and there, and what you feel for them, rather than who you should like and should feel for. Unfortunately, in the dating world you don't get to define traits and get a list of names with all of your traits. You have to just jump in and see who you like as whole people.
Hmm, you have a point. Although I don't really want to end up with someone with similar traits to what I just left, I guess that's a big part of why I was looking to formalize them more. Not that I would close all other avenues anyway.
