I've come around with the classic straight-girl crush complaint...but like...what if she's not straight...but like... Okay, let me start from the beginning. We've been super-close from when we met last year. It was like one of those insta-friend things. I've come to trust her with anything, and she knows that I'm curious and confused and stuff. I didn't ever imagine having feelings for her. I was into athletic girls, people who I wasn't close to. I thought that it'd be really weird having feelings for her because we were such good friends, and I thought it'd never happen. Then it did. I don't know, one day I was just like, "hey, you're hot...how did I not see that before? And you're also really funny, and sweet, and do I fucking like you?" So I was confused and scared because I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want to ruin the friendship we had by accidentally revealing it to her. Even more painful: we have an inside joke that we're fuck buddies. So we joke about sex all the time, and I try to hold myself back and not be too suggestive, but it's so hard. And then, at my sleepover birthday party...oh my God. First I sat on her ass. She was on her stomach, then I said aloud, "That looks comfortable," and just sat down on her butt. She laughed and we were having fun and it was really nice, but I was a nervous mess inside. I was trying desperately to deny that I liked her. Then, later, we were spooning like everyone else at the party (we're a weird group of teenagers, but we're all really close, so no one cared), and I had my arm around her waist and my face was buried in her hair, and soon she was asleep. Of course, I couldn't sleep, so I began to trace her shoulder blades and her spine with my finger. It was just so warm and comfortable, and she smelled really good, and I wanted to trail kisses everywhere. But I couldn't for fear of waking her. In the morning she gave me a fantastic birthday present and I cried out of happiness. She left kisses in my hair to try to make me calm down, but they just shocked me and I stopped to look up at her. Later, she gave me a kiss on the cheek as a goodbye, and the whole thing felt totally platonic. I think she might be bisexual (though she repeatedly claims to be straight), but even if she is, I don't think she likes me. I don't get the feeling that she does. I think that she was trying to be friendly and polite and return my movements towards her. I don't want to force her into doing anything, I don't want to make her uncomfortable. But I'm afraid I'll break this friendship off to save myself the pain and I don't want to do that. But I really, really like her, and I'm a mess because I'm just a stupid teenager and argh. Sorry for the length. xx
What age are you? I think age plays a big part in determining whether she is actually bisexual or a lesbian or whatever! I mean when I was younger, I had a lot of similar experiences with guys, and now they're all straight. There is definitely an experimental phase where anything related to sex is arousing and fun to try. When you say she repeatedly claims to be straight: have you flat-out asked her if she is bisexual or a lesbian? If not, how does it come up in conversation? There is one thing I don't think though: if she knows you are curious, thinks you like her and she is certain she is straight, then I highly, highly doubt she is "just trying to be friendly and polite" by returning the movements toward her. That doesn't compute, unless she has an incredibly low I.Q. or something! (Or maybe you are both like really young and she's not emotionally mature to recognise the harm she could be doing.) But say if she is bisexual: I think her actions couldn't be perceived in any way other than her liking you. Nothing else would make sense.
In my fashion design class last year there was this girl who i had a crush on from day 1! But of course i never thought she felt the same or wanted to be with me. We became friends and only around Christmastime did we discover that we both had a huge crush on eachother! We wasted all yeartoo scared to act on our feelings. Dont do what i did! Now shes in another state and i will only see her for a month this year before she moves away again. Good luck
We're younger teenagers, so yes, this is definitely the age of experimentation. I don't think I phrased what I meant correctly, though. I don't actually care if she ends up being bisexual, what I want to know is, does she like me right now? Do you think she's attracted to me and would be willing to have a relationship? Because I'm not sure what I am, either, in terms of labels. I'm just kind of going with the flow, and right now the flow is that I have feelings for her. And, even if is just a phase, it's still the present, and we deal with the present in the present. I haven't straight-out asked her, because I feel like she would be made uncomfortable by the question and I don't want that. I think that since she knows my secret, though, she'd be comfortable telling me if she had feelings for girls as well. We share pretty much everything with each other and there's no reason she wouldn't tell me. It's just that whenever we talk of my feelings for the same sex, she always seems to end up saying something like "Well I'm straight and..." which sort of even sounds like she's in denial. I'm not sure, though, as I'm quite young and don't have much experience in these things. It's just that I'm so insecure about myself, and she knows that. She's incredibly emotionally intelligent, but that can work both ways: assuming she doesn't like me, I'm worried that she's worried that if she doesn't return whatever movements I make towards her, it'll upset me and make me feel bad about myself, which isn't true. But her emotional intelligence also makes me consider that maybe she does like me and thinks I might like her back, so she's trying to subtly show it. Maybe she's scared of telling me or maybe she just doesn't want to face her feelings, as I said earlier. I just want to know if it she sounds like she genuinely likes me or not. I hope she does. And another thing is, I've no idea how to go about asking her out for fear ruining our friendship. I don't want to waste time assuming she does, but if she doesn't, I know that our friendship will be ruined, especially because we're the age we are. I guess that's a decision I have to make on my own, but I'm just putting the emotions out there.
well my input is....she may like you but her comment of "well im straight..." gets me... it definitely depends on how she said and her facial expression ....sorry , im a very observant person...like me....when my friend ask me if im a lesbian....i laugh and kind of shift my eyes back and forth and definitely avoid eye contact, thats one way you'll know if someones in denial if they say something and they get shifty eyed and kind of change the subject quickly
The upsetting part is, it's always been over text, so I never even get to see her say it^^ That's so how I used to be, though, when I was in denial xD
haha , god i wish i could cuddle up with a girl...i've never been able to do that with a girl to hold or cuddle. never. i have with guys and it was awkward. i knew something was missing if you see her next time....talk about it and watch her facial expressions
I hate mixed signals as much as the next person, and I think that there are a whole lot of mixed signals involved in this one. I'm pretty terrible at interpreting stuff like this. My advice is to talk with her, and take detailed notes on her movements and facial expressions around you. Suffice to say (with all my bad advice), all my relationships have been platonic.
Thank you, guys! ^^ I'll be sure to talk to her face-to-face a bit more. Thanks for giving me this next step. I had no idea what to do, haha xD
