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How to deal with my idiot father?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Dylan, Feb 1, 2013.

  1. Dylan

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    Warning: Long rant.
    Okay, so there have been quite a few times when my dad has said he wished I looked "more like a girl". he's policed my clothes when he takes me to buy them (he's refused to get me a sweater before because he thought it looked too baggy and made me get one I didn't like, won't buy jeans unless they "fit right", meaning that my curves are visible at least a little, which sucks, and constantly tells me I should look more feminine) He even tried to make me shave my legs! When I said no he told me "It's part of being a woman, you'll have to get used to it." (But that's his favourite line for everything, including not getting me any medicine for acne or menstrual side-effects) And for the past two Easters he's made me wear dresses. Anyway, my hair has grown out a lotsince my last hair cut and I look really bad, so I asked for a haircut and he said no, and when I asked him why he said "Because I'm sick of you looking like a boy." The bad thing is that it's not true. I look completely female because he won't let me look anything like a boy. I asked him once why he wouldn't let me wear men's jeans (the reason I gave him for this is that their pockets are bigger, which is true, and I refuse to wear a purse) and he said that it was "gross", and that "you're a girl, you're supposed to be feminine by definition-look like it". :bang:
    I don't know how I can deal with this for much longer. I am not a girl, and that's one thing, and the other is that my dad is a complete idiot. He's completely invested in the gender binary and all of the stereotypes that go with it, and then says that somewhere in the Bible it backs him up. I can't stand this anymore, I'll explode. I'll fucking explode. I have no idea what to do because I am completely uncomfortable here and I can't go live with my mom for months, if at all (which is seriously doubtful). I don't know what to do. :help:
     
  2. DeanIsHome

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    Wow, you're father is seriously being very ignorant going as far as being you're closet police, Honestly i don't know how to deal with this, but is he doing this because you're out to him? if not, what I would do is explain the situation to a school counselor and ask them to help you and they'll probably call you're father to put some sense in his brain, I'm really sorry you're in this situation.
     
  3. Dylan

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    No, I'm not out to him. He's said truly terrible things about transpeople in the past. There's no way I'd tell him unless I had somewhere else to go or someone with me for support and all that. (Which is why I want to live with my mom, or anywhere other than here, really.)
     
  4. DeanIsHome

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    Well if you don't want to go to a counselor, my plan to get away from my ultra homophobic-family is to come out at 16 and if they're reaction is terrible I'll become emancipated.
     
  5. Dylan

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    Actually I'd love to be able to talk to a counselor/therapist, but my dad thinks that people who do that are 'just making excuses for themselves' whatever that's supposed to mean. (Me and my sister's doctor actually recommended counseling but he 'forgot' I suppose.)

    I'm sorry your family is ultra homophobic! (*hug*)