sorry in advance, for the long post For 2 years i had been seriously depressed. My life seemed to have no direction at the time. I come from a very poor family. So poor that sometimes they go without food. People i went to school with are starting their 3rd year at varsity this fall. I didn't have money to complete high school, so i only wrote my A Levels last june and did well. This was after a certain lady had given me money for the exams. You see, before my A levels i was basically unemployable. The condition was, i would stay with her son (he had just gone through divorce) and take care of his house. It was the best deal, considering i had no prospects at all. So i wrote my A levels, passed, got myself a job and am trying to save for college. The lady's son is emotionally abusive. Fortunately he doesn't spend much time at home. I do pay him a small amount every month. I love my family to death and i'm happiest when i'm around them. My grandmother now lives alone and wants me to move back home. I want to but i have a number of fears. 1. I might end up not going to college. My family is so poor that i might end up having to provide, financially, for everything. Presently, there are huge bills that need to be paid. I'm afraid that all that may eat into my college savings. At my current residence i only pay a small amount, that i usually have some left to put away. 2. I may come off as ungrateful, to the people who have helped me out, if i leave now. I'm not sure what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.
My parent's always tell me that you're family is important, very important, but they shouldn't hold you back. The way i would think of it is when you save up to go through college it will lead you to getting a better paying job, a job that can bring you're whole family out of their difficult situation, basically it's like an investment except you decide if you progress by doing you're best, but my mom told me that when she was going to college her family back in the Philippines was very, very poor so what she did was tried her best to get as many scholarships, took up as many jobs as she could and sent whatever money she could afford to her family. As for you're 2nd fear on that family seeing you as ungrateful, I think if you tell them you're situation and if you truly want to go they shouldn't see it like that since you too are struggling. I'm sorry i can't be of much help.
Personally I feel like you need to do whatever is going to make you happy. I know that might sound a bit selfish, but it is true. You need to make your life meaningful and you need to do what you want to do. I dont know how old you even are so that makes this a bit harder, but I mean I'm 19 and I work at a grocery store don't really get paid much, but what I decided to do when I was in high school was learn a trade. Of course the construction industry sucks so look how that turned out... but you need to follow your dreams.
