Overrated

Well since you are only 17 and still live at home and feel as if your parents/family wouldn't react positively to the news, then yes, it would be better stay in the closet for the time being. You have to look out for yourself and your safety first. However, you can still have a support base with friends that are accepting so you aren't bottling everything up.

Once you move out and become an independent adult, then you can consider telling your family about your orientation as their reaction won't really affect you as harshly if they are negative about it. I will also add that people can surprise you with their reactions. It's not always as bad as we might think it is going to be. If you have loving parents/family, they will learn to deal with and accept it on their own time.

 

If coming out would wreck your life, don't do it. It's supposed to improve your life, so save it for when it does that.

 

Frankly, I think it can be a crapshoot either way.

I agree with RSwordsman - wait until you know it's a good time. I just told my friends because I didn't think a thing of it.

Ooops. I do kind of regret that. But I'm a terrible liar - they would have caught on. haha.

But it is NOT that super amazing "light-shining-bright" moment. You don't get welcomed with some big vase of flowers. You aren't told "oh my, this is the national gay society - we welcome you." Don't EVER do it in hopes of finding someone or because you want to be a part of the gay community (unless it's lesbians - lesbians rock!)

Do it for YOU. Do it because you want to.

 

Yeah, coming out would wreck my life up right now, as I'm still in that teenager stage where everyone in my grade is super-judgmental and I'd totally be dead. So yup, hiding in the back of the closet for now. :3

 

You will be free, but you have to look at it from a cost-benefit perspective. If the costs of coming at this point in time outweigh the benefits then it's best to wait until sometime in the future.

Also, fact.

 

You dont come out for other peoples sake, you come out for your own. Which is chaining you down more? Living a lie, or fearing what "might be".


Consider this.
People are creatures of thought, reason, and information. We build schema's of the world, and make judgement from them. Labels, and judgments can be a good thing, they protect us from letting our kids getting candy from the creepy man in the white van, among other outlandish things. We collect information from the environment around us and create an idea of something. Your parents, for example, when they held you as a baby boy did not think to themselves ", look at him, he is perfect, he is going to have a wonderful boyfriend someday, and everyone with love him." Rather, the were probably thinking ", He is so beautiful, and strong, and he will grow up and make a good husband to a beautiful wife, and play sports ." and whatever stereotypes that we assign to straight men.

So, while taking that into some consideration, it makes since that for some people who have always had this idea that you were straight, for you to suddenly tell them that you are not, it might come as a shock to them, and the initial reaction might be to reject the information that doesent fit. It doesnt change anything, it just means they need more time to collect information and confirm that what you said is really true.

I hope that helps a little.
It always does for me to really understand that it has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with the social environment you are surrounded by. Just remember that you are enough, no matter what. I dont know if you family will be supportive at first, but I do know that no matter what they say or act like, they do love you.