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Transgender Worries

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SWAGboy, Feb 3, 2013.

  1. SWAGboy

    SWAGboy Guest

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    Hey, I'm really worried that I am transexual. I have had the worries since the end of April (although they were 'bubbling under' for a month or 2 before)

    The very first time was when I was on ketamine a couple of years ago, I looked in the mirror and I saw my best friend's face looking back then I looked again and I saw my body as female. Around this time I had worries that I would get a disease that made men chop their bits off. I was really scared of this.

    Then I met a transperson when I went to watch a TV show and my friends were making fun of her but I felt bad for her.

    Then when I was doing a research paper at uni, I looked at some articles on transgender people cos it linked into the topics (sexuality and another on freak shows) and then I wondered why I had chosen to use transgender papers.

    Then my flatmate came out to me, I came out to him and we got it on, he then said I wasn't attractive.

    With some mates we were gonna go to a party as Spice Girls, I chose sporty spice so I could wear manlier clothes then I boguht a costume at the shops and tried it on in my room. I can't remember how I felt at the time but I gues I felt alright.

    Then I came out as bi to my mum, she didn't take it to well.

    Then a few days later I got really strong fears that I was a transexual, now I have been having these thoughts since the end of April.

    Can anybody help?

    I don't really want to do hormones or have genital surgery but I still worry that I am a transexual.

    I also actively want to have bigger muscles and build up my torso so this is at odds with my transexual thoughts.

    Also, I read things on the internet about transexuals and I worry that I am one.

    Maybe I am genderqueer.
     
  2. Hot Pink

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    You could be gender queer, but keep a few things in mind: not all trans people realized they were trans when they were young, not all of us experimented with clothes or makeup, and some of us were just content in their bodies as they were or are. There are trans people who never go on hormones or get any surgeries. It's not exactly common, but they're out there.

    However, if your body is giving you minor bouts of dysphoria, I would suggest getting into contact with a gender therapist to work through them. Usually people who think they might be trans really are--not all the time, but frequently. They're thoughts that the majority of people never get, so they stick out.

    One of my irl trans girl friends never thought she would go on hormones. She went in for therapy because it was driving her crazy. She thought of herself as gender queer, but then realized it was more. She did go on hormones, but has no plans for surgery. She has been happier living as a woman. I just thought that your story and hers were pretty similar.
     
  3. SWAGboy

    SWAGboy Guest

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    Thank you. I'm scared, I don't want to be a woman, I want to stay the way I am. Why has this happened me? I don't know what to do. Can I jsut carry on being a man?
     
  4. Hot Pink

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    You're scared, I get that--trust me. I was in the closet for 13 years. I tried living as a guy and it didn't work because those feelings just don't go away. Many trans women do body building, sports, join the army, and other super masculine activities to try to make themselves a guy. They always fail. Unfortunately, there's nothing to cure or fix. It's who you are. At the core of your personality.

    Whether or not you want to continue as you are is your decision. You can try. No one will stop you. You should think about finding help, though. Even if you're gender queer, that can be a hard thing for people to accept about themselves too. Your questions reflect a state of fear and possibly denial. This may be too big for you to tackle alone.
     
  5. SWAGboy

    SWAGboy Guest

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    Yeah it is really scary but I do actually like my muscles and my physique. Can I just carry on being a guy? I have been a guy for the last 20 years surely I can be the guy for more.

    I really need support right now

    Maybe you're right, maybe it is just denial but I don't want to become a woman :icon_sad::icon_sad:
     
  6. Deaf Not Blind

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    oh this makes my heart hurt.
    i tried to be so much girl...ew to make up but i did try it in moderation to appear female. i would have tried out for cheerleader not that i can, it just looks so popular and female. :frowning2: if i had attended last year, i would have cum as ultra female, all things pink, and acted female, curled hair. i visited here dressed like that. my intent was that.

    my opinion is that you could have other issues making you fear this and think you may be this, so seeing a good GID therapist could clear that possibility right up! :slight_smile: If it turns out it is transgender issues, then just cope a day at a time.

    I think that dickhead was pretty low to do you then say you are not his type or whatever...you sure were when he wanted your body. jerk.

    ---------- Post added 3rd Feb 2013 at 04:26 PM ----------

    then don't. try this: be you. everyday, don't fake being male and don't fake femininity...just whatever you feel is you do that. Example: BEFORE I came out, in class, my teacher cracked jokes and I just let out my laughter, throw head back mouth agape slap my leg, bang fist on table, put head on desk lolololo! Most in class were females, they act as society dictates and they grinned, put hand over lips and giggled quietly. I know they thought i was odd....they all stared at me. I was not out, I had not even read about transgender. I laughed like a guy that I am, like me...I always have let that one thing out freely. It is not feminine at all. Today out I am told I laugh like a guy. Okay, so that is a part of me. If them women really do laugh in tiny giggles, their nature, that is fine too. But they should not judge me for not being like them...I am me. And I suggest you try one day at a time to just be you. And try not to judge your amount of masculinity vs. femininity. whatever gender you are, you are a healthy, smart teenager and you will go far in life.
     
  7. SWAGboy

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    Ok, I will not try not to fake either masculinity or femininity.

    The fear is just making me so down though, I eat but I just feel sick, when I watch TV or listen to music I have to stop cos there is too much going on in my head already

    Coming back to the weightlifting I was into that way before I started to think I might be a transexual.

    The thought is really dragging me down and I can't focus on my school work or anything

    grrrr

    They do crisis counselling at my uni for people who need it but I will be at work today so I will have to wait till tommorow.

    I just want all this stop :icon_sad:
     
  8. DhammaGamer

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    Being or dressing in a stereotypically "feminine" way is not an indicator of being transsexual, in my earnest opinion. A transsexual is someone who physically alters their secondary sexual characteristics. If you have a desire to alter your sexual characteristics and look forward to the social implications that involves, then maybe you should talk to your counselor and physician about starting the process.
     
  9. SWAGboy

    SWAGboy Guest

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    I don't want to alter my physical appearance, can't I just stay as I am? I am worried I am transexual though, shall I speak to a counsellor anyway?? I'd really rather not change my characteristics but I'm scared maybe I want to but I like my muscles and things and I have always liked my dick but a few years ago I heads about a disease that makes men cut their dick off and I was worried I might get it or had it but then I forgot about it then I started to have these transexual fears last April, when I was a young kid my mum said a bird would peck it off if I didn't keep it in my trousers and it scared me, could it be linked?
     
  10. Hot Pink

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    Dude, if you want to stay as you are then do it. The transgender police aren't going to kick down your door and force feed you estrogen pills.
     
  11. SWAGboy

    SWAGboy Guest

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    Although extreme, your post has made me feel a little relieved :slight_smile: but I have had the worries in my mind that I might be so I am worried if you get me