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What is too far?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by silas123, Feb 3, 2013.

  1. silas123

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    Hey, I came her for advice once, and it helped, so I thought I'd come again. So, I'm sure there's quite a few of you still in high school/college, and here's my dilemma.

    I'm honestly not gay or bi, more curious I suppose. But nobody knows that. For those of you in high school, at least at my school, most the guys always joke around with each other---and if you didn't know better you'd think they were gay. I don't know if I'm making sense but I guess I'll give a some type of simple example, like a lot of guys will sit on each other or hold each other and joke around about "getting turned on" but nobody is serious. Hopefully this is making more sense now, I guess the best way to put it is like pretending to be gay for joke purposes

    But there's this kid who I've known since middle school who I sit right next to in multiple classes...and he's starting to get on my nerves. He jokes around like the manner I described above with everyone but with me it's different, and I honestly want him to stop. For example he'll like reach over and rub my leg in class and I'll just push him away and tell him to stop. One day he wrote a note and started laughing and showed me it and it said "I want to explore..." and I was like "okay bud." Then he blatantly looks at me and says "I want to f*** you." Then at our winter formal I'm literally just dancing with my friends and he comes up behind me choke holds me (he's taller and stronger than me) and starts grinding behind me and my friends have to push him off. Then he apparently was asking my friends where I was so he could see me. Then later that night, after the dance when I was in my car with my friends he comes over to talk to all of us and before he leaves he literally kisses me on the forehead. This is just one night. It's starting to be ridiculous and I have told him multiple times to stop. I'm like the guys I listed above I don't care about the whole joking around thing but I feel like he takes it way too far. I have never given him nor anybody else a reason to question my own sexuality, I have tons of male friends, play sports etc. Even his best friends (we have a lot of mutual friends) think its weird what he does when I'm around, and to top it off when I was talking to one of his best friends the guy said he even thinks he's (the kid who does this) gay.

    So what do you guys think? Am I over-analyzing it and is he just joking around like everybody else? Am I right to think something weird is going on there? Thanks in advance.
     
  2. Zaio

    Zaio Guest

    You told him to stop and that choking thing is way too far.

    Tell him how you feel (i.e you're pissed off and want him to stop) and if he continues then consider taking out a restraining order. This is starting to sound on the border of stalker-ish.

    All the best.
     
  3. ForceAndVerve

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    Sounds a bit creepy to me...I mean he's not even a good friend of yours right? Very odd that he would be taking it so far.
     
  4. Klutz

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    I'll second the tell him how not okay this is. This is sexual assault. If he keeps it up, get a restraining order. It has nothing to do with your gender identity. This person keeps touching you in ways that are not okay.
     
  5. Ticklish Fish

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    ah.
    first, gay-acting people are kind of common in high school. no one knows if they are gay or not. (well, not me). but whatever, ignore or take them as light jokes.

    so you say you're curious. but probably most likely gay.
    and you have this guy who literally told u he might be interested in you.

    maybe he's in denial, maybe he's not out...

    if I -were- you, I would need to have a talk with him to tackle the issue and figure out what the hell is going on with him. ALSO, like my previous poster said, you need to DECLARE that his physical activity with you is not okay.
    maybe have a confidant with you if you want.
    I DONT KNOW. But that would be how I tackle the issue.
     
  6. returning

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    All of what he did is way too far. Get help
     
  7. Lexington

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    He's gay and putting the moves on you hard. Next time he start, push him away, hard, and tell him not touch you again, ever.

    Lex
     
  8. silas123

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    Alright, I'm glad I'm not crazy that this is a bit weird.

    And I am aware that there are gay acting people in high school, my group of friends including myself are just like the people I was talking about in the original post. Just I personally thought that this person was a bit different.

    But, yeah, thankfully I'm not alone in my opinion. I dunno about getting a retraining order, haha, but I'll definitely have a talk or do was Lex suggested next time it goes a little overboard. Thanks, everyone.
     
  9. Rexmond

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    He's totally got to stop. There must be people you can tell, if he continues that is.
     
  10. Minx

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    Sounds like he's aggressive in his affection, even telling him it's too much might not get it through his head. Something about playing hard to get.

    Just let him know you're uncomfortable. :/
     
  11. XsabercaliberX

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    It could be multiple things 1. Could be that he does like you 2. Maybe he just wants to see if you're gay and expose it to the whole school and try to ruin you or 3. He just one crazy motherfucker
     
  12. silas123

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    Haha, I don't think number 2, because were actually friends. Not best friends but decent friends. But still none of my other friends are nearly like how he is, and he's not like how he is with me when he's with his best friends. So I'm gonna say 1 or 3.