Hey, I wanted some opinions on whether I should look to phase out my straight friends because I usually feel bored and restless around them. These are people I was introduced to 4 years ago when I was closeted and trying my best to fit in. Now that I'm out and the news spread fairly quickly, I feel an underlying sense of awkwardness around them because they thought I was something that I wasn't. I have a real desire to press ahead with my life and find lots of new gay people to make connections with and who will of course understand my issues on relationships, sex, gay clubbing etc. I feel like my brothers and sisters already provide the 'straight' quota of people in my life. Am I being too ruthless or is this just the natural course of being newly out and growing up?
If I were in your shoes, I'd not make any drastic decision until I have talked to them about the matter, ask them to be honest about your orientation, if they're actually fine with it, etc. But don't guide yourself just because you sense awkwardness, I've made that mistake too many times in the past and things are not always what you think they are.
I feel the same around some of my straight friends... Well I'm not out to them YET, but I fear that it will be like what you described if I do come out. I'm afraid it means we lose our no.1 connection and mutual interest and that our friendship will slowly fade. Maybe you could talk to them about it? If they feel the same, maybe it's better to end the friendship. But maybe they aren't sensing this awkwardness you speak of at all, and it's all in your head.
This is sort of my issue too. l've phased out lots of friends, though. it's either a fit or it's not and if it's not, shit ain't gonna work out lol. There is such as thing as just moving on. BUT...my advice, if these are good people that you care about, would be to take a break. This is what l'm doing l guess. l'm at a point where l just don't feel like l care about them but l know that isn't true. l get tired of being the "different" person in the group, especially among couples. They will understand your distance if they're even worth it. My plan is to build a gay "base" l guess first...and then work some other people back in. l think it's best. You don't want to put all your eggs in one basket.
Before you rule them all out, please take the time and weigh the role each playes in your life. You would hate to loose one good friend. (&&&) Good friends are so hard to find these days. June
Well, if they don't accept him, it'll turn out he didn't find such good friends after all, a good friend would accept the other no matter his sexual orientation...
It's fine to phase out friends who thought you were someone you weren't, but I wouldn't phase them out just because they are straight. I definitely understand what you are trying to say, though. I'm not saying you're doing this but I've noticed on here some gay people have this "us and them" type of attitude. I know a gay guy would understand your lifestyle the best, but there are also many supportive, understanding, and fun straight people to hang out with too that you shouldn't rule out.
