Well, I've been thinking about coming out in general but I can't reach a good conclusion alone, so I would like to know your opinions. I've read in some places that some dudes come out at workplace, like it was some matter of general interest, another guy that came out to the whole high school the last day, etc and etc... I wonder, if that really necessary to let EVERYONE know your sexual orientation (even if they're people you don't know), I mean, I know it's an important step for every LGTB to come out, a matter of health and of being you, but, isn't it over-the-top that you have to spread it at your workplace, your college, high school, etc... Wouldn't it be much more sensible just to be yourself, and if someone doesn't know and believes you're straight, that you correct him/her? That's why I wonder when I see other members' out status as "Completely out" if they're really out to such grade as I described at the beginning, or just by telling if anyone asks, or just believes you're straight. Well, that's all, I know I am much more lost than you ever would have thought, but I've just been able to talk about matters like this anonymously in Internet. What are your thoughts about this topic? :rolle:
When I say I'm out to everyone, I mean I don't care who knows and don't make any effort to hide my sexuality.
It's not important to me that everyone who I know knows, but that's in part because I don't have a partner, so there's no reason to bring it up in most situations.
In my opinion I don't think it's necessary to come out to everyone possible. Just tell the people you think should know and let everyone else think what they want. I generally just correct people if the topic comes up XD for example a new friend of mine was talking about her boyfriend and the subject of anniversaries and I just said 'oh well it's me and my girlfriend's first anniversary this year'. She was a bit surprised but just carried on like normal. I think that way's the best because then you're treating it like an everyday topic that isn't important. Which it isn't, sexuality is just a label really. But that's just my opinion good luck with however you go about it ^^ x
Like Maddy, my "out to everyone" means the people I feel are important know about my orientation and I don't hide anything if someone asks or a subject regarding it comes up. You don't have to carry a rainbow flag over your head everywhere. I think just being open and honest is good enough.
I don't run around screaming about my sexuality, but I don't try to conceal it. I just act naturally. I told all my friends, and I am open to anyone who asks. It's impossible to tell every person I ever meet, and straight people never have to justify themselves. Whenever someone asks me about my sexuality, I tell them about it. That's really all there is to it, I think.
I don't think its about letting everybody know it out loud, like waving a pride flag everywhere. Its more about being fully comfortable with it anywhere. When I first met my friends ( we are really close now ), I wouldn't bother giving my opinion when they were talking about that hot actor. Thats when they got the hint that I was not exactly into girls XD. There was not a moment where they asked "Are you gay?" they simply knew it at some point. Thats my definition of "openly gay". ---------- Post added 3rd Feb 2013 at 07:15 PM ---------- I didn't see your post before I posted. Thats almost exactly what I wanted to say! With different words.
I now understand it, thank you a lot for your responses, I got now very clear that when I'm ready to come out to people that are not that close I'll do it if the topic comes up when I feel strong enough to handle the situation, however, I don't think that'd work with relatives, the idea of telling them scares me a lot, I don't know how I could even start doing so, sometimes I wonder why something so normal as being gay is so hard to tell to your closest ones...
I live in a fairly small town and an extremely small school, so when I'm out to my friends and family the word will spread like wildfire, if I come out to my friends at school, probably everyone will know within an hour, so that just means that although I kind of want everyone to know, I have no control of that anyway. Do what's right for you, and although that advice is so cliche, but with most things like this, that's all I really can say. Good luck though.
Some people, when they are first coming out, find it easier on them to make sure that everyone knows, so that they don't have the feeling of uncertainty about whether certain people know. Also, when you are in the habit of concealing something, it can feel awkward to just refer to it casually in conversation with someone who might not already know. So that's why some people make big announcements about it. A big announcement can also serve as an event that marks the transition in the person's life. But not everyone does it that way, and you don't have to. I didn't.
I don't think it's necessary. I'm only going to come out to the people that should know out of relevancy (family and close friends). Otherwise, I don't really expect anyone else to care. If someone asks me about it, I won't lie.
