i don't know what else to do....

I know this isn't really a good suggestion but maybe get involved in martial arts to help with the aggression. It helped me when I was in an abusive relationship.

 

Sorry I know that doesn't help much...

 

Yeah I'm having a day like that too. We just have to remind ourselves things are bound to get better right....? Riiiiight....?

 

Yeah I used to google stuff like that but then realized googling symptoms of illness is the fastest way to convince yourself you're dying... :dry:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNrXMOSkBas

 

Nah I'm commiserating with you. I wish I could help.

 

I know exactly how you feel. My first lesbian relationship I was in was when I was 14 and the other girl was 17. She came onto me first. She asked me out so many times, and I kept telling her I wasn't ready. I mean, I was still trying to accept the fact that I liked girls and I wasn't ready for everyone to know yet. I still consider what we had as a relationship because we fooled around and acted like lovers (without actual sex). She promised me that she would wait for me to make my decision no matter how long it took, even if it took forever. That made me feel so secure.

By the next month, she was in a relationship with another girl and it broke my heart. That's the first time I've ever had my heart broken. I fell to the floor and cried for hours. I remember trying to get to sleep that night, and it was impossible. I tossed and turned all night. What's worse is that I had to face her at school the next day. It took me 2 years to get over her. What made me get over her was falling in love with someone else. I'm no longer in a relationship with that person, but I still give her credit for being the reason I got over the first girl.

So you will feel better. I know you are in love with her because the way you're describing how you feel sounds like a broken heart. I bet you're feeling like there is no one out there better than Scarlett and no one could ever make you feel the way Scarlett did. I know this, because I've been there. But trust me, someone out there exists, and they're so much better than her. The wait feels like forever, but it's so worth it.

 

You have to just accept that it's over.

Beyond that, you need to just take care of yourself--for example, make sure you are eating healthy meals regularly--it doesn't have to be diet food, but actual meals, and not just chips or something. Keep up with bathing and grooming, too--and be gentle with yourself, don't rip your hair out with the brush or something. And let yourself be sad for a while. It will pass.

You can also keep track of where you are in the grieving process--right now you are grieving for your relationship with Scarlett.

Denial--"We aren't really broken up."
Anger--"How dare she break up with me? How could she just stop talking to me like that?"
Bargaining--"Maybe if I [do the right thing, say the right thing] she will come back.
Depression/grief--"She's never coming back. This is horrible, I don't know how I can live without her."
Acceptance: "Scarlett and I used to have a relationship, but that ended. Our relationship was a meaningful part of my life, but now it's' time for me to move on to new things."

 

Set boundaries, then. Set aside time for yourself to be alone. Tell people that you are taking that time for yourself, and please to leave you alone.

It helps to have a clearly defined time set, because people in your life will need to interact with you sometimes. If you are trying to just get them to leave you alone completely, it won't work very well. Instead, set aside a specific time to yourself every day, and tell everyone that that is your time for yourself.

 

i have school tomorrow and lately i have been really snappy with people , i just want to be alone....and all people do is fuck with me.....and usually im not the one to yell or even fight back physically but its getting to the point where im getting mad enough where im getting pretty physical and im soon going to get in a fight

if you dont know the story of my ex , you can read my blog

http://emptyclosets.com/forum/blogs/flyalone45/6131-story-scarlett-*icons-included*.html

please help.....[/QUOTE]

I know what it means to lose someone precious to you. So far I lost lost all my grandparents (haven't met any of them) had 3 people die in my arms and one person who I didn't know get run over by a train but still felt bad that I didn't do anything. Don't let things get I your way. Things do happen for a reason...maybe she wasn't for you. Anyway I'm sorry for what happen many people here at EC can relate to you in many ways just believe me time will heal your wounds and you will find other people that will make yu happy