the title says it all I think... I've been wondering for the past 3 years whether I was gay or not and to me, that's a pretty long time... I mean; my doubts have "survived" puberty :lol: I'm turning 18 in a few months and when I first started questioning my sexual orientation, I always told myself that I would be sure when I turned 18. but I still don't know. I don't like boys very much, I don't feel connected to them in the same way I feel connected to other girls. but there is always this doubt inside of me... maybe I'm gay because my parents' relationship is so f*cked up? I mean... my very first memory is of my mother sitting beside my bed and crying. their relationship is just plain horrible. maybe I'm gay because of that? maybe I want to protect myself from something like that, from getting hurt, without consciously realizing it? fact is, I'm not sure. I mean, I feel gay... but am I just "convincing" myself that I am because I'm afraid of getting hurt the way my mom does? I've given it a lot of thought, trust me on that. but every answer I give myself just creates more questions. I want to tell my parents. because I'm quite sure I'm gay. but I've never been with a girl. but I really want to tell them. there are so many things in my life I can't share with them because I'm hiding this part of me. but am I ready? I think I am. but am I gay? I think so. at least I won't ever date or even marry a man, that's for sure. a lot of people have told me that I should wait until I'm completely certain. but I don't know how much longer I can hide. I know this is kinda confusing but I'd be really glad if you could give me some advice. love, Crystine
Personally, if you want to talk to them about it I'd tell them you're not sure, rather than you're gay Because if it turns out you're wrong it'll be hard to take back and alsl they would be able to help and support you better this way.
im 16 and im saying the same thing (the "18" comment) my life is so confusing....but right now , im only attracted to girls ....but the thing with me is i dont know is that's going to change... its fine i would think, personally im not coming out , i dont see a point in it for me but if you think its fine then so be it. its fine to have doubt , i would take a chance....come out and if anything changes then it does.....jesus...i am such a fucking hypocrite hahaha sorry if i didnt help much but im big on the phrase "just fuck it"
You sound pretty sure to me. You don't have to be with a girl to be sure. Will it be safe to tell them?
I would say to tell them you are other wise they wont believe you, or doubt it. or just wait till youre sure
Hi, I would in my experience believe that you mostly know at 17 and you sound rather certain of your sexuality, though not having had sex, you know what your attracted to, not only sexually but emotionally as well. I would say in my experience in coming out to my parents, it was very negative, my mother is very religious and I did not come out willingly however in your case it depends a lot on the views your parents have towards gay people in general as far as how they will react. If you still have to live under their roof and under their command and they have a negative view towards homosexuality you may want to wait a bit until you come out, such as after you move out. I hope that what decision you make about coming out that it is a positive and rewarding experience between you and your parents and you will feel more open and able to share the aspects of your life you have had to keep hidden. I only know from my experience and wish I could have waited and came out on my own terms and not been outed by others when I was 17, I wish you the best don't feel like you must rush out but I do hope it goes well when you decide.
l think it's really good to consider every.single.known.possibility when making a decision (or choosing to acknowledge) something that could affect the rest of your life. Especially when you're old like me ;_; That's why l do the same thing you do. l don't want to find it could be due to something like that later on and have wasted even more of my life. But at a certain point you really do get down to the bare core of your soul and if you aren't afraid of confronting what's hiding in there you're going to get as close as you can to knowing. So. That's what l've done, at this point f it is due to some kind of conditioning on my part, it can't be undone. l've already "undone" some other things that were wrong with me and it's not the same with this. l'd say come out when you feel like it though. But at 18 l'd just go with it. on the off chance that you do become attracted to men later, so be it. But you sound sure.
I'd be reluctant to tell people I'm gay in case I'm wrong and I do often think that. So maybe you could just leave it open. Perhaps you could simply tell them what you're certain of, that you "won't ever date or even marry a man". In that case, I expect they'd ask you if you're lesbian and then you can say that you're not sure and go into any more details. So long as you think they'll be supportive.
Would it be possible for you to see a therapist with whom you could talk through your doubt? If you want to tell your parents, perhaps you could tell them you are questioning. The first time I told my mother, I did not tell her that I was gay, bisexual, or anything that specific. I told her I did not think I was straight.
Once its out, its out. No turning back, I think I agree with Kgirl, I would tell them your not sure just yet. But your leaning more towards you are.
You could just say to them you know you're not 100% straight. Like the other posters have said, once it's out, it's out. But trust me, it'll feel a gazillion times better.
Would it become achievable so that you can visit a hypnotherapist with who you may chat by means of ones uncertainty? In order to tell ones moms and dads, perhaps you could possibly let them know you are asking yourself. The very first time My spouse and i explained to my mum, I did so not tell the woman which i was homosexual, bisexual, or maybe something that specific. My spouse and i shared with her I did so not think My spouse and i was right.
It's better for you to wait a little and be sure and comfortable about that. Coming out is hard (most of the times), so you need to be ready to stand for what you are (if you aren't sure that will make it harder).
