Okay so I'm writing about the same guy that I did in my first post, if you wanna go find it and read it. But I would just like to get some new advice, if that's okay. So, a little background, I am definitely bi, but most people do not know unless they've figured it out themselves and are waiting for me to come out. So there's that, but there's also this kid I'm gonna call John that was in my salsa class last semester. John was extremely friendly, and broke the touch barrier pretty quickly with me, and we would hug each other and kinda bump into each other all the time as we walked back from class. We walked back together for an entire semester. Early on, I got his number, and I've tried texting him, but I'm assuming he's a bad texter because he kinda lets the conversation fall flat. So this semester, I don't have any classes with him, but I text him most weekends to invite him to parties. When he shows up, I usually ask him to find me, which he does, and then we hang out, but the behaviour he displays when we hang out is very confusing. Like, he'll keep his arm on the small of my back, and when we talk to each other we get unnecessarily close to where my cheek is on his. I can't keep my hands off him when I'm drunk, to where I'm constantly touching his back, his chest or his hair, and he lets it happen. Even further, I tried holding his hand once, and he let me for a little bit before breaking away to talk to someone he knew. Okay so after putting my thoughts in words, this whole thing sounds stupid, especially given my former post. But there are a couple things I'd like to get some advice on, especially since I'm hopefully gonna party with him this weekend. Do not hold back, guys, and let me know what you honestly think. 1) Am I imagining things between me and John, or is there some possibility? 2)Should I pursue this guy? 3) If yes, then how should I go about it so I find out if he's into me? 4) How can I get the wheels turning? The thing is, I really really like this kid. I think about him a lot, I've introduced him to all my friends, and its not like I just wanna bang him and go. I really want to have a relationship with him, and this is the first time I've felt that way about any person. I just wanna kiss the hell out of him! What do I do?!
I can't imagine he letting these things happen if he wasn't into you to some degree. Or he could just be curious, no real way tot ell at this stage in time. Baby steps, tell him that you're Bi. Just tell him that you've been dying to tell someone and you feel like you can trust him enough to tell him. See how he takes that. Try not to overload him with info. Putting people on the spot can make them upset/anxious.
If I saw two guys behaving like that at a party....I would've assumed they were a couple. But I totally understand your hesitancy...when I'm interested in someone.....I'm totally oblivious to any signs there's a mutual interest. I literally need someone to hit me over the head. Any guy that let's you hold their is definitely interested and you need to jump at that before someone else does. (just don't ask me how....I'm horrible at starting relationships. )
Okay so this weekend, I tell him I'm bi, then what? And should I flirt more or less? And how do i flirt?! Help!!!!!!
You could try more hand holding/playing with hair etc. Maybe rest your head on his shoulder if you find yourself sat down. Or you could try the old head in lap thing: The problem is, if he's not into you I'm fairly certain these things will all make him recoil. Thing is, it all depends on how he take you being bisexual. You just need to go with the flow and see how he reacts to things.
I think my story could help you, I went through something similar. I had a friend who I really liked, although I assumed he was Straight. We hung out all the time, we pretty much had little to no limits on the whole touching barrier. He would hug me, we got touchy feely with each other, I mean I loved it ha! It got to the point that our friends were joking that "We should be a couple, the way you two act" both of us brushing it off as some kind of Bromance. I often felt like I got mixed signals as neither of us were 'out'. But to cut a long story short, I told him I was Gay, shortly after I did, he came out to me and at that point thinking 'now or never' I confessed my feelings, he felt the same way. Success story! Now, I'm assuming you DO have feelings for him other than just wanting to be friends. I would recommend testing the waters with homosexuality in general, bring up Gay Marriage, maybe a friend who is Gay, anything at all. Obviously portraying Homosexuality in a good manner and see his reaction. A good reaction would be a great thing, but if he is less than keen with it, it isn't a bad thing necessarily, my friend seemed a little Homophobic before he came out to me. If I were you I would definitely pursue it further with John, it does appear he is interested solely on what you've already said. You mentioned a party with both of you there, Truth or Dare never goes wrong and it wouldn't come across as 'being Gay' simply following through with a dare. Coming out to him is an option, but seriously only do this if you are sure of your sexuality and ready to tell someone, I would never recommend it to see if a guy is possibly interested in you! If you do decide to tell him how you feel, somewhere quiet, away from everyone else - and nosy people, ha! I know that this is a little mixed up, I was writing literally what came in my head at the exact moment, lol. Hopefully you can take something away from this, and of course good fn' luck!! I can't tell you him amazing it is to crush on someone and then find out they feel the same way, so definitely go for it!! Nothing worse than thinking 'What If' later on. x
omgawd....I think you've gotten some really good advice. It's an old quote but it's appropriate...it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all On a side note....my name should be Mr. What IF :/
Thanks guys! If I have more questions I'll let you guys know! I'll just use baby steps in terms of touching and testing the waters with telling him about my sexuality, and update you on what happens this weekend!
Sorry for reawakening this post, but there's a development. John's friends hacked into his Facebook today, and amid other things, changed his "interested in" to men. After John finally put things in order on his profile, I checked and saw that it had been changed to men and women. Now I really don't think he's the kind of person to use his "interested in" in a platonic way, so is this a sign? Or am I reading into this too much? Wow this is definitely trivial, but again, any and all brutally honest opinions are welcome!
I personally would take that as a sign that he swings both ways. Then again it may just be a missclick...haha I'm not really helping am I. :eusa_doh: Just forget about it and stick your original plan for this weekend.
So update: just went to the party and asked him if I could talk to him but he wasn't up for it. Oh well, at least I know where I stand haha. Ill try to get over this one, and thanks for your help guys.
