There's been 5 months since i moved on with my boyfriend, i had to leave my house because my family were abusing about me about being gay, harassing me and saying that i was in a big mistake that i was going to regret, that i did not care about my family and i was selfish. After everything i went through, i decided to finish college and go and live with my boyfriend who i've been in a long distance relationship from almost a year and a half. I'm always committed to my work and to a healthy lifestyle i'm not the kind of guy who's out clubbing and looking for one night stands, i'm also proud of myself because i'm only 22 and i just started in a nice work position with grow possibilities in a city i barely knew and where my boyfriend lives. I'm currently living in my boyfriends house with his mom and his 3 siblings, i had a plan for moving right after i arrived but my boyfriends mom has a family to support for herself and he asked me for some money. Also my boyfriend and i have been buying some stuff for when we are ready to move in together. We are planning to do so in a couple of weeks, since we finished buying essential stuff and looking for a house. I know and i understand that when you share a life with someone you have to accept and live with the other person defects and way of thinking, but lately my boyfriend makes me feel like i'm not doing anything right. I've talk to him about it but he only burst into tears and says that if i go he will not make it or that he is not made for anyone which i'm pretty sure shows that he is insecure. The main thing is that my boyfriend tries to play a role of a "modern and classy housewife" which he names himself. He does not have a job and he hasn't finish high school (which i dont care because i love him and im not planning to judge" but sometimes i think he lives inside this "non real" world full of television and facebook perceptions) that would not leave him to anything worthy . He always tells me he wants to be rich, that he wants a nice lifestyle like "Bree Vandekamp" or he makes coments like "oh look that cute guy on the tv" "i wish you could be like him". He is always saying that he wants to be like a HOSEWIVE because he wants to clean after me, and do my laundry. I have to say i never looked or expect for someone to play that part for me because those are things I CAN DO MYSELF. But because i love him i accept that and i also think it is a challenge to be able to "provide support" to a family with me and my partner. But there are somethings about this role that maybe hurt me a bit . He yells at me like i'm his son when we arguee and i just cannot do anything except " you know i don't judge you or treat you like this" but he says i hurt him so bad and he just cries. He is not able to hold a conversation when we have problems and sometimes i think it's impossible to talk to him. He thinks looks and physic is really important because he is always watching tv and he watches hot nice guys with really nice bodies on the internet, wich i don't mind. I try to exercise as much as i can but in a short term i just cannot achieve a body like that as quick as he wants. I try to be the best in everything that he want's me to becaues i believe im a good guy. I might not have the best muscles but i think i'm somehow worthy. But sometimes what he says and how he acts hurt me in a really mean way. I don't want this to become a problem in the near future that we move in together because i just want someone to be part of my life and for growing together. His family has warn me that someday i will not be able to "cope" with his character and that we will be teared appart. I don't care i just wish he could see there's more of a real life and that there's a lot of work to do if you wan't to achieve things you always wanted to. But these mood swings and comments are sometimes hard to cope with. It's also hard to talk to him without arguing because i live with his mom and i find it rude. I just want to find a way of tell him that there's more in life to enjoy. would you please advice me? :icon_sad:
To me it sounds like you're a lot more mature than him. I think you really need to confront him about ot or it might build up some tension and just reach breaking point. This might be something you can sort out if you learn to communicate better.
I agree with "Kgirl"... from personal experience, I know how living with a "couch potato" can be. It gets frustrating, quick. If this guy isn't capable of even finishing high school, then he will never be capable of geting a job, you will have to hold his hand for everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. I t may sound harsh... my advice... but I'm only commenting because I have lived this with 2 lazy brothers in law... while I worked and went to school, they sat at home playing video games. You will be supporting him (financially) all the time, it might not seem like a big deal now... but that sh*t is gonna get old real quick. the best you can do is have a talk with him and tell him exactly how you want it to be... you're the one bringing in the money. If he expects you to "take care of him (financially)" and you don't mind... then go for it but i'm just warning you that it does get tiring getting home after a long day to find a person just sitting on the couch playing video games all day.
While the rest of your comment is fine, I feel the need to stick up for all of the amazing people who didn't finish high school and are doing great...such as my dad. He's a kayak guide, a therapeutic riding instructor for kids with mental disabilities, and spends more time with some of those kids teaching them all the skills they'll need to be the best they can be. He has ADHD, and he had an absentee father and a mentally unstable mother and three older siblings. He wasn't able to get the help he needed to do well in school. He tried to go back and finish several times and didn't succeed, and was left with the idea that he wasn't "capable" of doing it. Now he's achieved a lot of other certificates, which has helped quiet that feeling...but imagine how every kid who really struggles in school and isn't able to finish feels to hear people say that they'll "never be capable of getting a job". OP: I agree with the comments that you're more mature than him. You need to figure out what you want with him, and if he can't be that for you...get out of it. I know that would be hard for you with your lack of living situation, though.
