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i lost my virginity to my freind,

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by aMiMe, Feb 4, 2013.

  1. aMiMe

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    Last week i got picked up by an old freind from a few years back. he knew i was bicurious and we used to mess around. he wanted a relationship a long time ago, he says he doesnt now. so he picks me up we go to the liquir store and then to his new place. it was good to see all my old freinds again. then later that night after we were drunk we were fooling around. i dont like kissing guys i wouldnt date and i wasnt ready for sex so i say no. then he convinced me and we ended up doing it. idk things like that i just dont understand them. and then he wanted to cuddle in the bed wile we slept. i snuck out from under his arm and slept on the floor. i felt a little naseau after and didnt sleep for a few days.

    is that a horrible thing?? cuase now i am trying to get in touch with my gay side i feel more like things like that should be special.
     
  2. PeteNJ

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    I think your gut is telling you that this isn't the way you want to have sex in the future.

    I'm a romantic- would love every time to be with someone who seems amazing and wonderful and I can see being with forever.

    Then I'd never have sex and would probably be sitting around alone too often. I too have looked back and said boy was that stupid, and sometimes not safe sex at all. Lust will do that to you.

    It's better to be out there and learning About yourself than nOt taking a chance.

    Don't beat yourself up. You lOst your v-card, check that off your list.

    And keep looking for love-- the right guy is out there!
     
  3. aMiMe

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    ty very much.
     
  4. Yogabear

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    I'll tell you the problem was your inhibition was out of thewindow with being drunk. I know I lost my voluntary v card with oral sex that way and you can't do anything about it just go and learn from it. Obviously don't be around people especially drinkin that you feel will do that to you until your in a trusting relationship. Actually its better not to drink alcohol to have sex ever under any circumstances anyways because its not fulfillin for either partner and you probably could have remembered more of it too.


    What I'd do if I were you now? I'd re-examine my relationship with that supposed frien of yours like he merits ofit and all. Is he my true friend or does he want a sex partner? I'd also question anothe aspect is why was I sleeping on the floor afterwards not with them in the bed? I believe the answer is from wha I gather is you have no romantic bond with him which is perfectly understandable like me with one night stands with women in the past just nothing to go off of or shared close memories, etc to consider. If anything is bothering you go to a counseler or post on my wall k? I'm here for you like surely others are on here man!


    In a wrap up, I believe you made one single mistake just don't make itinto a landslide okay? Meaning tht you realize that you cannot be a one night hookup for guys! This is perfectly fine like the otheris fine wih safe sex and knowing who you are with is also fine. What I hate is when people try to blend it together and act like they are your partner and lie to you but anyways that is true any type of relationship. I wouldn't personally drink around this friend cause it appears that he took advantage of you in your ddesperate vulnerable state of mind. He wanted the sex at any cost even perha losing you as a friend and that aint right man. YOu deserve better than tha and just take out time to fix yourself from this experience. No rush in finding a partner just exercise, read books, take a vation, or whatever an enjoy life and it will come in due time man. I hope all of the best and LEARN from this okay?


    hugs,
    from Alabama
     
  5. Lexington

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    There's nothing wrong with wanting to experiment. But those decisions should be made in a sober state of mind. Your friend guessed (correctly) that he could convince you to have sex with him, and so he made his move. I wouldn't necessarily hate him for what happened, although I'd be very careful not to end up drinking alone with him again. Forgive him for being a horndog who wanted to get off, and let's focus on you.

    Henceforth, know your boundaries. If you don't want to do something with someone, say no. If any pressure comes on, end the conversation and leave. If you "have trouble saying no (or sticking with no)" when drunk, stop drinking so much. End your drinking earlier, and switch to water or soda. Next time a sexual situation comes up, and you're not sure whether you should say yes, flash back on this night, and remember the feelings afterwards. Start thinking of what sort of guys you WOULD want to have sex with, and the situations you'd enjoy experimenting with them in. Then work on making those become reality.

    Lex
     
  6. Yogabear

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    Mor or less me and Lex have it right cause you obviously didn't have an enjoyable experience with this guy. I differ in that I would be bitter towards him cause he took advantage of you and you should definitely consider whether he is even your friend. I don't know about you but a friend like that is an nonfriend to me from that day forward. It was not a mistake what happened to you don' think that it was cause you were prey like I was prey at one time. I'm not a forgiving person all that much cause of the messed up life that I've had though just don't get ran over for anybody and don't settle for less.

    hope this really helps and sorry for the typos,
    Yoga