I can't stand being in love with my 'straight' best friend HELP!! :(

Welcome to EC!

Making a move n him is more likely to get you some man-on-man, but it's less likely to keep the friendship intact. The other potential move - come out to him. Tell him you're gay. Don't bother telling him about your feelings for him just yet. Just say you're gay. Say you're telling him because he's a good friend, and you know he'll keep this in confidence for now.

If he's gay or bi, that's his cue to come out to you. If he does, then by all means, make a move. But if he doesn't, then you'll have to assume he's straight. Yes, he might still be gay and closeted, but it's really not worth obsessing over little signs. Assume he's straight, and (hopefully) still a good friend.

Lex

 

Best advice ever. after being closeted through 5 crushes and taking my own bad advice. that is the best advice to take. the little signs add up, and i counted for a long time. and i never even had the nerve to tell any of them that i was gay. which like he said is his cue. closure.

 

(*hug*)
Crushes suck!!
I don't really think it's a good idea to make a move on your friend because it could freak him out. I think it would be better to come out to him, or maybe even just tell him you think you're developing feelings for other guys. Anyway, I hope this helps!

 

You could try coming out to him when you're sober and he's drunk (I did to one of my friends and it worked surprisingly) it's your choice though hope his helped (probably the worst advice I ever gave to someone but I tried)

 

Remember, you don't have to be shy about coming out. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to worry about.

Good luck.

-E.F.

 

If you want to lower inhibitions and keep the conversation easier like you say by him being drunk, just make sure he isn't "sloppy" drunk and you will both remember it. Plus, if he is a talker when he drinks make sure he won't blab to others what you just told him if he does react badly. That would suck, but it is a possibility, some people are just ignorant. :/

I had/have a 'straight crush' that I can't seem to get over. I just have to keep away from this one girl because every time we do something together, the butterflies come back and I can't help but fall for her all over again. It helps me to distance myself. I miss her and I do really love hanging out with her, but it's just easier to keep the interactions to a minimum and spare myself the emotional turmoil I feel, because it really does hurt over and over and over.

Good luck though!! Hope it all works out for you, however you choose!

 

Getting HIM drunk before telling him you're gay suggests a pretty specific ulterior motive. Is the friendship worth that?

Lex

 

Let him ask any questions he wants, and tell him it's OK if he thinks he'll offend you, just ask anyway. Chances are that he's DYING to know who you like, to which you can cutely respond, "<name>, I love you."

*D'AWWWWWWWWW SO CUTE*

But if you're not on that level, just tell him "to be honest, <name>, I have feelings for you." Hopefully he won't be creeped out. Be prepared to give scripted answers to stupid questions that friends can ask you (especially if you tell him to be unafraid of the response), questions such as "does your own dick turn you on" etc.

Congratulations on coming out of the closet, though! It takes strength, but now you made the first step! The LGBT community salutes you in not being afraid!

And one more thing. DON'T come out to everyone, even if you want to. Always consider "what will benefit this person to know?" It's a surefire way to stay out of trouble to those who have a harder time accepting it.

Good luck!

-E.F.