I guess I can start with this story, I wore some Polka dotted sleep pants to school one and one kid told me "That is Inappropriate for school" even though it doesn't violate the dress code when I questioned it he told me "would I wear a dress Monday?" Trying to continue his argument and then I thought to myself "..well I do own a skirt". Of course when my folks (they Know I'm gay) found out what I was planning to do for school Monday they freaked and after some not-so-Feel-good conversation he convinced me out of it.But things my mom said to me stuck out to me she told me she didn't want me cross dressing outside of home or my LGBT youth group which I understand she wants me to be safe...but shouldn't I expect people to not hurt or harass others and wear whatever I want? She suffers from a certain mental illness and I will not judge or hate on her because that is just who she is, But honestly she does come across caring about what others think of her and trying not to like "Unpopular stuff". Hell when I was wearing a My little pony T-shirt to school she Told two things that hurt me "You are going to get beat up" and "You look like a wimp!". And when I got to school no one ended up caring in fact I got positive feedback. I know all of these are the past and I have gotten perspective on it before but recently they have entered my train of thought and Causing me to feel Angry,hurt and Frustrated and sometimes just flat out scream out loud...Just thinking thoughts makes me worry Ill end up conforming to others. Thanks for reading I needed to get some perspective and to Vent what is on my mind
I know those things can be really hurtful and make you feel down or depressed, but your mother is trying to protect you from what she believes will happen to you. We've all been conditioned to think a certain way about how girls and boys should dress so when people dress outside of those "norms" than that can make people uncomfortable. Have you ever talked to your mom about how her words have hurt you? Maybe she didn't realize how hurtful they were to you. Some people say things in a way that they didn't mean to sound, it comes out differently than the way they meant it to sound. I hope this helps!
Remember that your mom went to school an entire generation ago. So if a boy had gone to school with a 'my little pony' t shirt, and definitely a skirt, they've have been beaten up for sure. She's basing this on her own experiences - even if they aren't necessarily relavant today. Parents just want what's best for their kids. They don't always know what's best - but they do their best to guess.
Depending on the way she said it, I would call that a genuine concern. You have to remember that not everyone you meet in life is going to be ok with crossdressing, and your mom is probably aware of that, and concerned for your safety. The "you look like a wimp" comment is a little rude, however. It sounds like you are making too much of simple things, though. I have said it several times since I joined this forum, but so many people choose to let relatively small things destroy them inside, when their lives could be so much happier if they learn to let things go. Your mother's words can only hurt you if you allow them to. Why are you averse to conformance? It is not inherently good or bad, but depending on context, conformance has its advantages and disadvantages. If you have adopted a rebellious attitude against society, or something of that sort, just be reasonable and stay rational in your thinking.
You're lucky in the first place that they're so accepting of you being gay AND cross-dressing. It may sound strange, but you're extremely lucky that she exhibits this behavior. She just wants to protect you. She doesn't want you to get hurt, she doesn't want you to get called names or beat up. She just wants you to fit in and be happy, and she has a hard time understanding that this is what makes you feel happy.
