I'm a little late to my own party... I'm a mother of two now. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm attracted to women as well as men, and I'm not sure what to do. Coming out to everyone is so far down the line, my close friends, not so much. I really need some reassurance that I'm not alone here, and that there's others who have come out AFTER having a hetero family started. I feel so alone... :help:
Coming out as bi doesn't mean your life has to change much. You can still be a mom and a wife just like before. You just have a connection to the LGBT community now. Some people like to think that bisexuals have a choice in coming out, but I don't think that's true. You're hiding a part of yourself right now. In order to embrace it, you should come out. It all depends on how open-minded your husband is. You should let him know that nothing will change between you two. You've always been bi, you just hadn't realized it before.
Hi, mamaK! Welcome to EC! You're most definitely not alone; however, I'm gay, and yes, I've been with men. I have 3 boys and I love them with all my heart! I'm still very gay; I've tried so hard not to be. I've known since I was 19, but I couldn't accept it at the time. Are you with the father of your kids?
I'm not with their father, although we're living together as a family. It seems like such a big hurdle to fully embrace it myself, and I'd like to get through that before talking to him about it. I'm starting to realize that I've been intentionally avoiding looking at other women at all costs, because I have feelings toward them that I have repressed for so many years. Thank you for helping me out, guys. I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but this conversation is the first I've ever had about this. Strangers on the internet, thank you.
The hardest part is coming to terms with yourself. Being as open and honest is the best thing a person can do for their sanity. I too avoided looking at girls in that way all throughout high school, so it hadn't occurred to me before I could be something other than straight. Love your family and remember that on this path or discovery, you need time to uncover this aspect of yourself fully. Then you can realize it doesn't define you and you will be much happier. Love and peace honey! <3
It's not easy, but things will get better. I tried living with my kids father and our boys as a family, but I felt like such a fraud. I felt like I was living someone else's life. I do love him, but love wasn't enough. I still feel so guilty for letting things drag on for so long. I'm glad that you're finally exploring your feelings, it takes a ton of courage (*hug*)
There are books on the topic Dear John I love Jane, by Candace Walsh and the second book is Late Bloomers by Robbi McCoy or Robin McCoy. They are both books of women sharing their stories of coming out later in life or with families. They are both excellent for women like you who are in a heterosexual relationship. Hugs and love sweetheart.
Definitely not alone with this one! Although everyone already knew I was gay, I still was in a relationship with a guy for 3 years. There was no sexual attraction towards him, he was like my best friend. But we ended up having a kid and that was the best thing that ever happend to me. Now I've only been with women, my kid knows it, everyone knows it and it's all just fine! You can't live your life to the fullest, if you aren't being true to yourself.