Gay Trans-man Rant

I don't think you have much to worry about. Transitioning today can be done so flawlessly that you could never tell post-op. You don't have to tell other people that you're FtM until you're really serious with them or you trust them enough.

There was recently a thread that posed the question on whether or not you could date someone who was transgender. I considered this, and despite me being the submissive partner in relationships, if my partner was post-op and was masculine enough... I think I would be okay with knowing he was born biologically female.

 

In my LGBT support groups there are a couple of trans FtoMs -- they're great guys... and I'd have never known if they hadn't outed themselves.

I didn't have any trans friends before, now I'm glad I do.

Sorry you're having a tough time -- none of this LGBTQ stuff is "easy" -- but its the path for each of us. We all need eachother for insights, support, love.

Keep posting!

 

Happiness is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you turn your attention to other things,
It comes and sits softly on your shoulder.
- Henry David Thoreau

It`s not true that just because you weren`t born male, you can`t find love or can`t fit in with the gay community. There are no limitations when it comes to love. Beautiful people find it, average people find it, skinny people find it, overweight people find it. Born males find it and non-born males find it. We just have to let go of our fear and our doubts, and take a few chances. If we`re happy about who we are, and work on feeling good about ourselves, then chances increase that others will see us like that as well.

I understand that you are disappointed about the opportunity that went down the drain, but you`ll find someone. 9/10 dates I`ve been on has been duds, either because she didn`t feel it, or I didn`t feel it. Dating is always hits and misses. Keep the faith, and chin raised!
*hugs*

 

I feel the same way dude. It sucks because I feel like no gay guy is going to want a boyfriend who doesn't have the parts. On top of that I believe I'm on the asexual spectrum so that's going to be even harder to find.
But reading some posts about some gay men not minding their partner being FtMs, brings hope to me. It sucks though, I feel your pain. Life would've been so much easier if we were just born as guys.
Hopefully their is someone out there for us though. We just have to keep on looking.(*hug*)

 

Yeah i feel exactly the same way dude, exept like with girls.
Always think im not good enough for them cause i dont have a male body.
But as hard as it is to belive, well i think so, there are some awesome people in the world who are okay to have a relationship with a trans person. Guys and girls, probs just onna be harder tofnd being young(assuming you are young i dont really know)

 

I know it can be discouraging.

I always wonder if I'll find someone else abstinent, or a partner who can deal with my abstinency. Joining EC I found others to be in similar situations.

As I said in another thread, I wouldn't mind dating a guy ftm.

If all these crazy bigots can find loony soulmates.

Then we can surely find sane partners!

 

I feel pretty much exactly the same.. not just with other men.
With any potential mates.
It's just.. hard to think about.
But every kind of person can find love if they find the right person.. If things don't go as planned.. you can always just keep yourself held up and continue your search. If someone truly loves you, they'd be able to accept your body for what it is.

 

If it's any consolation, I like men and that includes transmen. I have been with a few transmen before and the equipment is not a problem at all!

 

I feel your pain too! I am Trans M to F with a male body still. It is real hard to get a good mate these days. Once you are post-op you should have no problem. I know I would accept a trans guy. So don't give up! Being a man is more than having the parts! Just as the men in my life see me for the great woman I am, not the man I look like. Currently I have one man who has me and three men who want me. This after more than a year of just sex offers. Life can be so strange, so don't let it get you down! June

 

As someone who has been attracted to openly trans men before trust me when I say there are people out there who you could be with

 

I can empathize. Honestly, I am very intimidated by gay men. Though, I can be attracted to women and am not really a gay transman, I have always identified well with gay men and felt comfortable in their presence... until now. I am worried that as a transman, they will be uncomfortable with me, will be offended if I try to talk to them in a romantic sense (or they do to me then find out I'm trans), or because I am "not a man" and should not be presenting myself as such- and when I do present as a man, believably, I seem kind of stereotypically gay and effeminate.

I think though, Cole, it may not be as bad as it seems to us now. The few gay men I have told, though I was not trying to be romantic with them, were not offended or offensive. They were very kind and supportive. I also met a group of transmen who were very kind and supportive.

I sometimes think "Who would ever want a weirdo like me?" Then I think about how I view other transmen and transwomen and how bad I would feel to hear them call themselves "weirdo" or "tranny" and the fact that I have no problem with them, and I know a few who have partners. There are open-minded people in the world.

 

I definitely want to acknowledge that trans* people have the hardest time because a whole lot of people have a difficult time getting past bodies. For what it's worth, there are cisgender people who can be attracted to those who are trans*. I've been attracted to two FtMs and a genderqueer.

The only thing that gives us difficulty, even those who are somewhat educated on trans* issues is how to be sexually respectful.

 

Don't worry about that, you'll find a place in the gay scene. Yeah there'll be some guys who won't want to date you because you're trans, but there'll be plenty of guys who would. Just like with any other trait, e.g. some people won't date blonds or short people, others prefer them, and others just don't care.

Just be honest with people...let him fall in love with you for who you are.

As far as friendship goes I certainly don't think you'd have any problem fitting in the 'gay scene' either.

 

I am a biological man, and I have plenty attraction for transmen.

 

Hypothetically speaking: If I saw you and at first sight was attracted to you, and then if we hit it off and I later found out you where Trans I would not care.

So not all people will reject you, there are plenty of fish in the sea to chose from and my advice is to find the person who fits you perfectly, some where out there some one exists and this advice I give to myself as well.

In fact I am the type who from watching too many Anime, day-dreams about being in a relationship with a Transgendered person. Actually I day dreamed about that since before I ever watched anime at the age of 13. LoL

May love and peace be with you, Always,
In the name of Asherah, the Queen of Heaven, Amen.

---------- Post added 27th Jan 2014 at 09:22 PM ----------

Also notice this persons response....