So I've been pretty sure of both my gender and sexual identity for quite some time. The few people I've fully introduced myself to, so to speak, have made some assumptions about me, but eventually wrapped their minds around it. But I've kept my gender identity deeply closeted pretty much my whole life, and as a result I feel pretty ignorant when it comes to explaining myself and how other people will react. I'm planning on making myself go into a LGBT group at school. I know by and large 'yall are an incredibly understanding group, but I've met some exceptions already. Not bad ones, just I guess people like me aren't as well understood as I thought we were. So as a result, I have a few kinda paranoid, probably completely off base fears, and I figured the internet is a great place to ask dumb questions, so here goes: Is anyone likely to give me crap if I identify as a trans lesbian? I'm kinda used to it if they do, but are people likely to make assumptions about my orientation just because I'm coloring outside the lines with my gender expression? I'm probably going to have to show up as a guy; is that gonna make things awkward? My skins pretty thick and I'm used to these exact words by now, but the line I'm still terrified of is "you'd make an ugly girl". I mean I'm going anyway. And it's probably going to be a lot easier dealing with some LGBT folks than it would be eventually if I decided to be me full time so this'll be good practice. I'm painfully shy and trying to change that. Just looking for some realistic expectations is all, don't sugar coat but don't scare me off.
People might pull the whole "well if you're into girls why don't you just stay a dude?" type thing. There's still so many people who don't understand that gender is completely separate from sexual orientation. I guess your best bet is to just attempt to explain it to them? Weather or not it would seem awkward if you show up as a guy, would probably really depend on the individuals in the group. I know if i'm unbound I look feminine but the people around me don't treat me differently or call me "she". There's others who do but it's really going to be determined with how the others react when you tell them. But I feel like if they're LGBT they'd be a tad more understanding than just normal people who aren't really up to date with those sort of things, ya know? Best of luck, though.
l think people online are much more likely to say what they really think. l am almost positive you won't encounter anything too personal from people at an LGBT meeting. You can't control what people think, but most will mind their business (adults anyway). Once you make a few close friends everything starts to come together, no matter who you are you can only really expect a select few people to understand you completely. l don't think l'd waste any time telling people though, as long as l was comfortable. That's like double coming out and it sounds exhausting.
Everyone at the LGBT group at my school knows I'm a trans lesbian. No one has ever given me shit about it. The only people to ever give me shit about it was my mom and an ex-friend. Can you guess why he's an ex-friend? The most important part is to be confident and not allow yourself to take shit when people give it to you. Take that shit and rub it in their face. Be empowered!
At an LGBT meeting? Definitely not. You treat them with respect and they will be more than respectful of you in return. Well yes, of course people will assume about your orientation if you don't give them something to go on. But if you tell them what you are, they aren't going to assume otherwise. I don't think anyone would ever say that! Especially at a support group meeting! You can never know how the person will look after all is said and done...the transition is generally designed to make you look attractive. It's great that you're going, I think you'll find it quite a pleasant experience.
Thanks all of you. Like I said, probably some dumb stuff, mostly butterflies I've just gotta digest. Kinda embarrassed that I picked that last example. I was more typing how I felt than actually thinking anyone would do that. Don't think I can explain it better. I guess it was just something that stuck with me when I heard it and I figured it would explain what kind of stuff I was bracing myself for in my head. I'm kinda naturally that way, my mind just goes into the worst thing that could happen no matter how silly it is. Getting my thoughts out somewhere safe usually does the trick. I can handle a little bit of explaining. It'd probably be a good ice breaker if anything. You've all got really great answers and I feel a lot better about going now. And I've definitely gotta stop being so wrapped up in what other people think.
