When I went to school in florida I started experimenting with guys. I did a few things here and there, but I really wanted to try bottoming. Every time I would attempt to bottom it would hurt too much. One night though I met this guy at his place. We were fooling around and he was a bit rough, but nothing I haven't seen before. He knew I was a virgin and I told him to go slow which he did initially. As he was slowly pushing it in it started to really hurt. He was quite endowed. I told him to stop because it hurt, but he didn't say anything and kept pushing further. I was getting nervous and tried to push his leg back to push him out, but he held my arms down. At this point I was helpless because he was much stronger than I am. He pushed fully in and when he did I knew. It felt painful and very weird. Then he started to pick up the pase which I wasn't expecting and I thought I was going to lose my voice how loud I was. It hurt, but kinda felt good at same time. He started to jerk me off really fast while fucking me which was a lot to take in. Felt so weird. He eventually made me cum and so did he. After he finished we got dressed and I left. I'm not sure if he took advantage of me or not. What do you guys think?
I think you were being taken advantage of because you clearly said "No" which he ignored, it's like if a girl tells a guy no and he continues then it's rape.
I am sorry that this person has made your first time unpleasant. You might have felt pleasure because of a mechanical/physical stimulation. Feelings don't lie where you body might. If you felt uncomfortable or being coerced into doing something, then you were being forced.
Whether or not you orgasmed has nothing to do with it. An orgasm is a physiological reaction to sexual stimuli, whether or not it was consensual. You told him to stop, and he didn't. He raped you. Please, even if you don't feel traumatized by this, If you can track this person down and report him, do so. There is reason to believe that he may rape other people.
If you told him too stop, and he didn't, he raped you. I know that it may be a hard thing to accept, but by definition he raped you. Please try to report him if you can, to stop him from raping other people.
If he said stop...that means STOP. Regardless of whether he just said it or meant it. That's leaving it up to interpretation for the aggressor..."did he/she really mean stop?" "Maybe he/she's just saying it...so I can keep going." I was in the same sort of situation when I was assaulted. It's been years, and it's still very hard to handle. I told the guy I was with to stop...that I didn't like what we were doing...he didn't stop. It's taken me MONTHS of therapy to come to terms with it not being my fault because I said stop. Now, if we add in the ability to "interpret" what I really meant when I said stop...well... Stop...No...Enough...all me NO.
As veganarchism said, whether or not you orgasmed is irrelevant to the issue at hand. I am no legal expert but you told him to stop and he refused. I also believe you could make the case that by holding your arms down he physically incapacitated you, reducing your ability to resist or flee. My personal opinion is that under Florida Law he committed sexual battery.
You just described rape to me. I can understand your reluctance to describe that as what happened, because nobody wants to think that's what happened to them. If that's not rape, I don't know how cartoonishly violent you have to get. You said no, and he pushed in harder and held you down.
I know it's rape. But even if you don't you know you deserve a better first time than that That's deserve, not deserved. What happened to you was not making love, that's for damn sure. You deserve someone that will make you feel better about yourself.
It would qualify as rape in most states, in that you initially gave consent, but withdrew consent and, through physical actions, made it clear that you didn't want it to continue. At the point at which you said "stop" and he didn't... and the point at which you tried to push him away, and he held you down, it became rape. Unfortunately it would be nearly impossible to prosecute because it would be your word against his, and because you initially gave consent. The law system is imperfect and tends to give the benefit of the doubt to the accused. That said, I would like to see assholes like the guy that did this to you spend a year of hard time at a rough prison. This might give them a different insight on their self-centered behavior.
Thanks everyone for listening and voicing their thoughts. The overall consensus seems to me it was forced. I am lucky to come out of it unscarred and since have had a healthy sex life. Overall I wish I could have had a more memorable and enjoyable first time, but that's life. I should have waited to be with someone who I truly trust and care about. THanks for all the feedback I greatly appreciate it. -Kevin
Kevin, I don't think you need to swear off casual sex altogether. That's not a representative experience you had. I truly hope that you'll be feeling as stable about this in two months as you are right now, because frankly, a lot of us are pretty horrified at what you described. What you need is to deal with people who respect you and your bodily integrity and actually want you to get off too. Sex is supposed to be something that people do to share with each other. It's not something that is done to you.
From what you described the events of sex that this would definitely be considered RAPE especially nonvoluntary sex wih physical hysical enforcement. You should learn a deep lesson cause you are lucky you are alive my friend cause in some cases it could be much worse than what you had it. Don't justify that you deserved it either cause he was scum for doing that for you. When I listened to this, I almost wanted to vomit on the flooor cause something similar had to me as a child. People like this hhave a special karma for them in sometime in their lives for sure. I sincerely hope others who read this will learn a page from your book and be more prepared next time.
