I found a guy on campus last week that I thought was gonna be my best friend for life but that never happened. It was great at first because I told him everything and I mean EVERYTHING! He was very accepting and he could relate to me on a lot of stuff. He gave me great advice and I felt really comfortable talking to him. He's straight though so naturally things didn't work out the way I wanted. Don't get me wrong he's a great guy and he's a great shoulder to cry on but I don't deserve him. Reason being is because I fell for him. I broke my own rule #1: never fall for straight guys. I tried not to, but I couldn't help it. I think he's cute and sexy and as usual I misinterpreted his kindness and I gave him expectations that he can never meet. Like I want to be able to spend all my time with him, hold him, touch all over him, and do other things and he's not like that. Of course I got mad but I realized it's all my fault not his. It wasn't fair of me to expect so much out of him when I knew what I was getting into. He's straight so naturally he's not really gonna want me touching all over him or acting like I'm his girlfriend instead of his friend. I can't fault him for that. At the same time though, he calls me his bestfriend and I do the same to him but there are some things that he won't do that get me upset. Like he doesn't even want to come to my room. I go to his room every time we see each other. I invited him over several times but he keeps saying no. Second he says I can't make him do anything and if he does something it's because he wants to. That's good and bad. But if you call me your bestfriend, then that means you should be willing to make some sacrifices to make me happy on occasion and the same thing goes for me. I don't mind sacrificing my happiness sometimes to make him happy but I don't feel he'd do the same for me. Third, he doesn't really want to do any of the things I want to do. Every time I offer the chance to do something he always shoots it down. I'm always the one doing the chasing after him and it gets annoying sometimes. All of these things have nothing to do with me being bisexual so I feel justified in being upset about these things, but everything else, I feel is all my fault. I haven't told him any of this yet because he's working on a paper right now and I don't want to bother him. Still, I could use some great advice now.:help:
To be honest, I think you said it yourself. This doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong, it doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't make him a bad person. I would just realize that he has his limits - in terms of being straight and in other ways. Just let him be himself - if he prefers not to come over to your room, then hang out in his if you're willing. If he's around less often than you'd like, then just enjoy his company when he is. And if, at some point, you're not interested in doing those things anymore, then that's fine too. And quite frankly, don't hold up "I don't mind sacrificing my happiness sometimes to make him happy" as an ideal - in the short term, in a specific circumstance, sure it might be a decent and even a noble idea, but in the long term, as a general policy, it sounds very unhealthy. Do for yourself what you know you need, let him do the same - and if, at the end of the day, you two can still be great friends in whatever capacity, then enjoy it! Good friendships are no more common than good relationships.
