In what ways have you come out?

you're right I think its best to tell anyone you are really close to in person I don't know why I think its best it just feels like the right way to do it. All my really good friends know and one of them didnt like it too much but she said she would still be my friend no matter what and she has even gotten more accepting I think that if he is a good friend he should be fine with it, it might take some getting use to but I think it will be ok and if he's not ok with it then he wasnt that good of a friend in the first place I told my best friend over the phone and while she said she was fine with it I still regret not talking to her in person. so thats my advice I say you should do it in person but hey do whatever is comfortable for you and when it is comfortable for you. All I can say is what is comfortable to me. good luck with telling your friend

 

I agree that you should do it in person. When I first told a couple of my good friends, I told them in person, and I was really nervous. But at some point you just have to.... say it. That's it. Just "I'm gay." And it's really hard. It's one of the weirdest phrases to throw into a conversation. But I'm pretty sure that if you tell him in person, he'll most definitely respect it. I mean if you told him online, he'd respect it too, but in person it seems so much more legitimate.

Good luck with this. I know it's not easy. But it feels so much better when someone knows.

 

Hi Step49x,

I agree with the others that coming out is best done in person although I’ve done it per email to my family in the United States (a 5-page letter with considerable detail). A relaxed social setting worked best for me, a dinner with my best girlfriend, a barbecue with my best male friend, and a reunion get-together at a restaurant with old work buddies (all straight). All three went fantastically well. In your case I would suggest going out for pizza, a movie, bowling, or some comfortable social setting.

And yes, it does get easier. I was scared shitless with my girlfriend, simply because I had never said those words to someone I cared about and had known for a long time.

Good luck and let us know how it goes .

 

I must say, don't come out online--ever. You never personally are able to see the person's reaction, which makes you wonder what their reaction actually is. I had a long conversation online with someone after coming out to him through IMs. The day after I didn't know how to act around him. It was weird and awkward.

 

It's the same if you send smeone a letter or whatever - you have no idea what their reaction will be so feel awkward when you next see them. Face to face is the best way, though it is often also the most difficult.

 

As outrageous as it sounds, I've had a friend who made an eighteen slide Microsoft PowerPoint presentation. It had things all about his sex life (or rather, lack thereof), how he's still a good person, information about HIV, and itwas just crazy informative.
Not aesthetically pleasing enough for me, but whatever works for you works for you. I just sat down people and told them

 

I came out to my parents three weeks ago. They came down to visit me at college, and I just felt like telling them, so I did. Ha ha. My mother's having a hard time getting used to it, though. She has on several occasions asked me, "Are you sure you're not interested in guys because you haven't had good luck with girls?" Ouch, Mom! Ouch. Of course, I haven't had the best luck with guys either. :lol:

 

Well I can tell you how I came out to my best friend. I talked to him online for a while, told him I was doing this quiz to see how good of a friend he was to me, so I wrote some questions for him to answer and I remember one of them being "would you still be my friend if I was gay/bi etc" (it's not the nicest thing to do but I just wanted to know, doesn't hurt right), so he answered them "um yes of course" and that made me feel a lot better and gave me the courage to tell him, so I told him and our friendship has been just as great if not better now feeling our friendship is closer now that he knows the real me.

You could try it out or just drop a few gay references in your conversations and see how he reacts (or maybe you already know if he's ok with gay people?). You do what feels best for you, I know it's easy to say he should accept you for who you are and if he doesn't he's not a worthy friend to have, but it's hard to cut him off if that would happen knowing he's been your best friend for so long, but in a way it's really true. It's all up to you though!

Good luck and all the best!

 

I told one of my friends while I was kind of drunk yeah not the best way but she was fine with it then I told my best friend over the phone (completely sober) and was so nervous but I finally got it out oh and a few weeks before that I asked her how she felt about gay people and she said as long as they dont hit on me i'm fine so yeah she kind of suspected it anyway. I was too chicken to tell my mom in person so I wrote her an 8 page letter put it in an envelope, gave it to her and took a walk and later she left a message on my cell phone telling me that she was ok with it. After I told these people it was much easier to tell another friend and I just told her in person I just said it and she was fine with it. Now as for my Dad I'm still deciding on how to tell him but this is how I've told some people in my life
good luck with everything!

 

I made a really idiotic move about a month ago. A girl that i met 2 months ago commented that she thinks our band director is really cute (cause he is) and I said "oh! me too!" (cause i do). She asks "Are you gay?" just like right then and there in the middle of us walking down the hallway. I was so baffled and surprised I whispered " Yes." Then i was like OMG!!. She responded positively and I proceeded to tell her that she could tell NO ONE, but I still felt stupid. She's now the 4th person I've told, and I still havn't told my parents. It just reminded me that I have to be careful about what I say. My advice, plan what you are going to say when coming out ahead of time.

 

congrats on finding someone!
I try to see it as stepping stones. For me, the first step was coming out to myself. I needed to know for sure about my sexuality and i needed to accept myself for who i am. check. then i wanted to tell my VERY best girlfriend (we're too close for words) even though I'm sure she already pretty much knew cause she knows quite a few gay people. check. Next, I told our other best two girls who both know at least one gay person. check. thats 3 so far, not including that girl that i accidently came out to :sigh:. I'm not sure where to go from here. Im thinking i need at least another like 6months before i say anything to my parents. But my first guy friend. that will be a BIG step. I don't think he's ever met a single gay person. He's my best friend, and i just have no clue what he'll say. I mean, will he still wanna hang out with me? I'm scared that if i tell guys, even if they accept me and respond positively, that theyll just treat me different. maybe less wrestling? . It's just a really weird thought: to tell a guy.

 

Yeah, i have one friend who recently stated that he would totally accept and support me if i ever came out to him (idk why, but the topic came up so naturally he could have been referring to anyone, not just me) he would totally accept me but make less touchy-feely jokes around me. and now that i think about it, your right, it is the cool thing to do to pretend to be gay. i dont find it particularly offensive, they aren't putting down people. some kids do it and it's hillarious, just because they are some of the "straightest" kids ever.

and i hang out with a ton of girls, but none of them would ever date me. although they don't know i'm gay, many of them just think of me as being such a good friend that they would never date. it's like they have a gaydar, but they just don't know how to read it. I'm the kind of person who always has to be touching someone (you know what i mean) when im talking to them, so i almost always have a couple of girls on my arms at a given time. a friend (who knows im gay)made me think; "wow, if you were straight, you would be such a pimp." and i thought "if i were straight, i probably wouldnt have these girls with me" the girls i actually dated were never the ones who knew me to advise them about guys or what colors look good on them. sadly, they were the girls who knew less about me than they thought. and after a while, they just learned that i couldnt like them that way and they would dump me. kind of a bummer. lets just say, first kiss: disappointment.

 

btw, toga twister sounds fun