Boy, I gotta say being gay really does suck. It's not the same sex attraction part that I feel miserable and depressed about, it's the complete and utter lack of attraction towards the opposite sex. In bars, around my friends, in my fraternity, on the street, I am reminded everyday I am not normal at all. I am a minority within a minority. I personally believe most same sex attracted people are also attracted to the opposite sex. True gays are probably 2% of the population, if that. The few guys I actually dated, were bi and not gay. I hardly know any real gay guys but tons of bi. I'm reminded every time by my straight friends and the tons of bi guys I've either hooked up with or dated that there is something wrong with me for lacking any amount of hetero desire. Sometimes I look at pretty girls wishing I could actually "want" that. Anyone else feel this way?
I used to...but honestly, I have seen some straight guys wreck their lives because they are attracted to a girl, stalking like no tomorrow. I think I learned from being gay that just cause you are attracted to someone, it doesn't mean anything! because well I mean if he's straight what more do you want to understand that's not how it goes. But for some guys they keep thinking if only I was this or that, or told her this or that, he really can't get over why is she not attracted back to him. So my friend don't worry life is shit for everyone .
I understand what you're saying, as I myself identify as completely gay. I think there's a lot more completely gay people than you think. A lot of the ones claiming to be bi or to have some kind of attraction to women claim to because they still cling on to some of the denial they've had to deal with, and it makes them feel comfortable to tell themselves and others "yes, I can be straight if I want to."
I feel like that somewhat like when I'm watching Glee and i see Santana i feel sort of depressed that i can't go around with my boyfriend (if i had one) without being ostracized and i wish i could love a girl and have kids and a family but then i love being gay too!
Don't get me wrong guys are hot! But sometimes I keep having flashbacks to puberty when I actually liked girls that way... or my childhood crushes on girls. One of the guys that actually gave me advice over the years on being true to myself turned out to be bi and not gay. I was shocked and very disappointed. When you feel like you are in a gutter, you need to talk to someone in the same shoes as you.
I don't really care, at the end of the day women are a pain and so are men. Every thing that looks good isn't good for you. There are more important things to pursue while you are at college anyways--like getting a true education, so if the attraction that you desire isn't there at the moment, use it to your advantage. Be an individual and things will fall into place for you when the time is right. I know it is hard, there is a lot of pressure to conform to college culture/gay culture/hetero culture but you have to learn to be true to yourself first and as you move forward you will have opportunities to be with other individuals more like yourself and less like the rest of the herd. It may even end up being a woman, you never know. You ever take the time to read Dorian Gray or Giovannis Room? GL.
I'd consider yourself lucky, at that. I've never had any childhood crushes. I went through all of my schooling (pre-university) not having any feelings for anyone. Actually, now that I think about it...the only relationship (if that's even what I'd call it) I had probably wouldn't have even happened if she didn't like me in the first place. I definitely had sexual urges as I was going through puberty (which started at a fairly young age)...I just never associated them with either gender. You might even say I was pretty much asexual up until a couple of years ago -- and I didn't even stop to think about it! When I finally considered the reason why I wasn't thinking of all of the hot girls in high school like my friends were, it hit me like a second wave of puberty. Except this time it's proper. Now I'm in my 2nd year of university, and I'm finally starting to check out others like I should have been doing 6+ years ago. I just need to figure out whether I'm gay or not. Pretty sure I am; I keep waking up with nagging doubts.
Hi, Back in the 50's-60's in Catholic schools those who were left handed were forced to use their right hand to write. Being left handed was a sign of the devil. Lefty's got smacked with rulers to force them to comply with the majority. Society is the same today with gays. There is nothing wrong with it, a simple variation but society acts like nun's with rulers demanding compliance. This leaves many gays in denial, self-denial, self-abusive behaviours and repression. Nothing wrong with "gay" it is society and its primitive abusive nature that sucks. Stuck
That's a pretty good sign that you are most likely gay and not straight or bi. I know there's a lot of conflicting information out there and this idea that sexual orientation is supposed to be confusing as hell. It really isn't as complicated as people make it out to be. If you really sit back and think which gender or genders you fantasize about, react sexually to, and desire intimate/sexual relations with, then it becomes clearer. ---------- Post added 8th Feb 2013 at 12:21 PM ---------- I understand somewhat of the comparison between left handedness and "gayness." However, being left handed does not limit your options of anything. You still have the same amount of options and opportunities as right handed people. People who are completely gay lose out tremendously in the dating pool. Their options are limited. It is rather depressing. :icon_sad: Having a very narrow, rigid sexual orientation really is nothing to be proud of. It actually really really sucks. The only narrow, rigid sexual orientation that has more benefits would be straight.... because it's the most common.
Stuck[/QUOTE] I understand somewhat of the comparison between left handedness and "gayness." However, being left handed does not limit your options of anything. You still have the same amount of options and opportunities as right handed people. People who are completely gay lose out tremendously in the dating pool. Their options are limited. It is rather depressing. :icon_sad: Having a very narrow, rigid sexual orientation really is nothing to be proud of. It actually really really sucks. The only narrow, rigid sexual orientation that has more benefits would be straight.... because it's the most common.[/QUOTE] Well, you can have a fantastic relationship with your left hand.
Homosexuality is not narrow and rigid, nor is the dating pool as slim as you seem to believe it to be. That I can promise you. When you arent out or just coming to terms with things it can seem like you are alone and different from everyone you will ever meet, but that simply not true. The majority of hetero individuals dont find their 'soulmate' all that easily in life. There are plenty of 100% homosexuals. There are plenty of dating options. There is plenty of oppertunity for you to have a husband and a family. You have just as much of a chance to enjoy your life. You're 'minorty orientation' is only a weakness if you wallow in it. We are a minority and maybe that means that we do have to work a little harder to find out significant others in some cases, but oh well. It doesnt sadden me even slightly. There will be people out there for me. There will be people out there for you. You havent lost any 'options'. You get everything a straight man gets in this world, except for a 'wife' specifically. But women are no more special than men. And we have already agreed than men are hot as hell anyway. ; )
Power of attraction: Thoughts become things. What you give energy to will continue. If you choose for being gay to suck it will, if you visualise positivity and goodness, it wil come! Normal only means most. You are normal, just in a different way! Much Love,
You aren't alone in this. I often feel so alienated and depressed because i'm also a minority within a minority but just be proud of yourself and there are lot of more true gay people than you think but it really depends on which society you live in.