Ever since I was about 13 I realized i was gay. However, I am now 21 and still have not accepted it myself. I have not come out of the closet and in fact i am pretending to the whole world that I am straight. I am finding this incredibly hard to do and it has caused me great depression. I want so badly to be straight that I have had a string of girlfriends which havent lasted very long. I feel very uncomfortable being romantic and close to girls, thats probably why my relationships with them dont last very long at all. Another reason why I have a girlfriend is to throw people off guard and to keep my secret. I know how wrong this is for me to do to the girl and it pains me everyday to be so deceitful. The main reason why I cannot accept myself being gay is because of my religious beliefs. I am Catholic and believe that homosexuality is wrong. My family brought me up to be told that being gay is a sin. Even if it really isnt a sin, I will always think it is. My family are very conservative and everyone is asking whem im going to settle down and get married and have kids...which is all what i want so badly - only I am finding it incredibly hard being with a girl. Should I break up with her? She is a really sweet, nice girl and it will leave her heartbroken i know it. What should I do? This has been going on for far too long and as each year passes, I feel worse and more depressed. I have not seen a psychiatrist or and councelling as I cannot speak about it to someone as i find it hard to say it to myself. What should I do? I am so confused!!
Matthew 7:13-23 “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it. 14 “For the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it. 15 “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 “You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor figs from thistles, are they? 17 “Even so, every good tree bears good fruit; but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 “A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. 19 “Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 “So then, you will know them by their fruits. 21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven; but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven. 22 “Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ 23 “And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’” Check out this speech and the book "The God Box" by Alex Sanchez I was there for a long time (being that I worked in a church growing up). Trust me in this God doesn't want you to experience the pain that you are going through right now! (*hug*)
Wow. Surprisingly your story isn't rare even in America tons of catholics are closeted LGBTQ individuals cause of societies e.g. the oman Rite Catholic Church deems homosexuality as a deadly sin. You say you were brought up to believe in Catholic teachings in the Bible right? I'd not look at at your equation likethis cause just because you were brought up this way doesn't mean it should always be this way. For example, I was raised superficially as a southern baptist in the south yet I pursued paganism, atheism, agnosticism, Islam and to roman catholicism so don't limit you options to early. I'd also look at myself as my name is --- who happens to be --(religious or spiritual belief) not determing labels your destiny is what I mean. Keeping what I said in mind thatI've studied western roman catholicism not in extreme depth but enough to know what I believe in. One thing they won't let you know in your area e.g. dioces is that not all catholics agree with the hierarchies positions on this and abortion and lots of core tennants of the church. Believe me a local university Knights of Columbus leader more or less answered my question "What do you see the roman catholic church changing in the years to come?" and he responded "the church will become more accepting and open to gay marriage". This is slowly already happening in the states with or without the bishops permission like contraception as well. Lots of catholics especially traditional catholics are transfering over to protestant in mormonism to other denominations too like other religious conversations so you wouldn't be the first to reject the church like I did. Finally, I wish you all of the luck in the world with this issue. I canno relate with you on the closeness with your family cause I never had one. Other than tha I believe what I said in the above paragraphs arejust options for you to consider going forward not something you should be instructed on doing. You wouldn't be he first homosexual to not come out in the church cause look at priests beingbusted with other nonrelated lgbtq problems caue of the churches emphasis on control of normal impulses is ridiculous. I'd dump the girl you can only hurt by eventually having children and being openly gay later or cheating on her with a man. Why do that to her or your family? Maybe just seek counseling with someone, tell a sympathetic friend (catholic preferably for advice) and pray about it okay? hugs, Peter
I know how you feel , especially the you can't get over the feeling that it is a sin part. Unfortunately my only advice for now, is that you need to make some tough decisions here and just decide, do you want to marry that girl and just pretend your whole life. Or do you not want to do that. You don't have to come out for you to break up with your girlfriend. I personally did, but I kinda did it in a 'I know I have a problem, so fix me if you can' to my family specifically and told them the main reason I am telling you this is so that you lay off about me getting married. But I understand if you can't do that, you are 21 tell them anything like I don't like this or that girl, just say anything to push them off, but don't do something as drastic as marriage before sorting out what you think you are capable off is my opinion. Other than that, I don't know how to help you about what to do about being gay as I am stuck on that my self. My opinion.
It's good to know that i am not alone in my situation. I'm a Roman Catholic and ever since i was just a child were (My Family) always been active in the church thing, like were always attending Sunday mass, and when we have some celebrations like birthdays we always go there, they even make me become a sacristan when i was younger and put me in the Catholic School to study,hah good thing they didn't suggest or want me to become a priest. sorry about that bro(*hug*) @SomeNights Thanks about the phrases and the video...everything, that really make sense, i really appreciate it.(*hug*) ---------- Post added 8th Feb 2013 at 05:46 AM ---------- Thanks about that(*hug*) I'm still thinking/planning on telling it to her(girlfriend) first cause i really love her she's so sweet and nice and i don't want to hurt her more if this pretending take to the second level. I really hope she understand me when i confess to her, i am really praying.
