I am 19 years old. I've been openly gay for a while, but I dont talk about it. Living in Indiana there arent many gay people and I dot 'act' gay so it's hard to meet anyone. I'm very shy and wouldnt meet anyone on the internet and I'm to young to go to bar or clubs. So the other day I was confronted by my friends mother who i hadn seen in a long time and she started asking if if i was still gay and if ive ever had a boyfriend. I said no, and she continued on saying I must be asexual and kept persisting. I said it was none of her business and ended up leaving when she wouldnt drop the subject. I've never thought of myself as asexual. I know I'm attracted to men but I've never really met any gay guys that I'm attracted to. I'm not concerned with finding a boyfriend or having sex for that matter. Ive never thought that made me asexual before but now idk. Just wondering what everyone else thinks.
Only you, know you. She might've went well, but it doesn't sound like she really knows what it means.
Do you lack sexual attraction to other men? If so, then yeah. You might be. But that's your.. choice. I'd say that you don't know because you mention that you haven't anyone you're attracted to. If you met someone you were attracted to, would you have sex with them? I guess in my own example.. I'm pretty much asexual (grey-a) because I don't look at girls and get all hot and bothered, nor do I want to do them or feel horny around them or when I think about them. It's all romantic feeling to me. I'm not completely asexual because I'm sure I could have sex with someone if that 'connection' was there. Asexual people have no desire whatsoever to engage in sexual contact with someone. They lack sexual attraction. So.. I'd say that you're most likely not asexual. Only because you haven't been with a guy yet, doesn't mean you are. She sounds like she doesn't really know what the term means, and now it's making you feel confused. But again, you only know how you feel better than anyone else does.
That's not asexual, at least... from my own experience. I had a confusing time where from 10 - 14 or so, I was mostly straight with the occasional male crush. Deemed it teenage puberty hormones/everyone goes through it, etc etc. But from 14 - 16 or so, my sexual desire completely went. I found everything to do with sex repulsive, masturbation felt clinical and simply removing... bodily fluid because I had too (bit graphic, but really, that's what it felt like...). I didn't find anyone attractive. Someone saying 'oh, she's hot' or 'he's fit', and I would honestly compare it to someone saying 'look at that tree, that's hot'. It just wasn't there, and to me, that is asexual. The fact that you find men attractive somewhat rules out asexuality. And some people simply have a low sex drive, but that doesn't mean you're asexual. I don't have a very active sex drive. When I go out clubbing with my friends, all of them are like 'gunna pull a fit girl' or 'I hope I meet a hot bloke', and I just sit there thinking 'well.. I hope I don't lose my keys'. But if I get hit on, I don't say no. I would say I'm similar to you in that respect... I don't go looking for sex, at least not like the 'majority' do, but if it happens I don't say no haha
I feel the same way sort of. Its a weird feeling. I could go out anytime I wanted to and pick up a relatively attractive guy, but I have no desire to. The shity thing is that I want to have the desire to.
