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FtM and Coming Out Questions?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Auxibiology, Feb 8, 2013.

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  1. Auxibiology

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    So most of my friends know I'm not exactly straight, so that's not an issue.
    But as I started puberty, I felt strange. My breasts growing and everything to me was... unnatural. Not supposed to happen. That was about a year ago I began questioning not only my orientation, but my gender as well. A year has passed and I have found that I am a complete guy. So I accepted it pretty quickly, since I came out as bi earlier in life. But now, instead of coming out to EVERYONE like my bisexuality [[noting here this is no longer valid; I'm what you call a asexual panromantic]] I've only come out to some pretty close friends! No one religious, or anyone I couldn't keep a secret with. But now I'm wondering, is 13 too young to even BEGIN coming out? I was thinking of transitioning at maybe mid 14-early 15. So, should I come out BEFORE I transition, how young is too young to come out as FtM, and who should I tell next? Thanks in advance!
     
  2. No age is too young to come out...just come out when you feel like you are comfortable with it. Are your parents accepting of the LGBTQ community?
     
  3. Auxibiology

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    I came out as bi to my parents [[ actually, they found out ]] around when I hit puberty. They accepted me, but said not to put a label on me. I'm still a little scared to come out as FtM because there is already this girl that makes fun of me and she doesn't even know about my sexuality/gender, I live in a VERY religious community, and I have had rumours be spread before...
     
  4. Unfortunately, there will always be bullies. Whether you cisgender and straight, or transgender and gay. If your parents are accepting of your sexuality, then they will likely also be accepting of your proper gender identity.
     
  5. Niko

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    I'd say come out whenever you feel the time is right.

    I'm 20, and I didn't come out to my parents till a few months ago, I do regret that. The only problem is, is that you are young and they might think you're confused. My parents certainly did. And to this day, after coming out to them they still think I'm confused. |:

    But, do express yourself. Be the man you see in your dreams to the best of your ability. If people come up to and ask questions, then answer them truthfully. I know it sucks when people make fun of you, but those people shouldn't matter, be strong because there is nothing wrong with you and you still have the right to be who you are. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Auxibiology

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    Yeah, I see. Thanks! So should I tell my family next?
     
  7. Niko's advice was a lot more helpful than mine, throwing that out there.

    I think it would be a good idea to come out to your family. I am in the process of that myself. Just don't rush yourself, come out when you are ready. :slight_smile:
     
  8. Auxibiology

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    Oh my! I did not see your's. Terribly sorry.

    And thanks. I'm going to cut my hair short maybe in a few months, and later I'll save up for binders and packers.

    And I understand. My parents thought the same about when I came out as bi. Which I was! So I agree, and thanks for the info! :slight_smile:
     
  9. SparkleDuck

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    If your sure your parents will be accepting, I'd say go for telling them first. But if you have doubts I'd say maybe just let it be for a few more years. I'm 16 and I still haven't told my parents at all. But everyone's situation is different. I honestly wouldn't really recommend coming out too much to peers. I have a feeling if you live in a religious community your peers might give you a lot of trouble, and school's already pretty tough as it is. Best of luck with whatever decision you choose.
     
  10. GayJay

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    Dude, im not saying your parents and friends wont accept you but just be careful what you say.
    Personally i wouldnt have come out at 13, but if you think you can then you should. But you should deffo tell your parents and family before others. Maybe talk to one person in your family your close to and get advice/feedback from them about telling the rest of the family. With you being young they may say it is a phase, and they will belive that until you prove them otherwise, they only way to do that is to let the years go by a little and show them your still that boy you was a couple of years ago. But as long as they will support you and still love you thats the main thing.
    My mum rejected me a little when i told her, and said i am hurting the family it is just a phase. I was 15 then, im 17 now. Shes still not totally there and it still confises her but she supports me a lot more, so time heals everything.

    And as for at school, 13, kids are still yound and immature. I have 2 brothers around that age and they do not understand what is going on. But they might still think its uncool/wrong or whatever so bullying may be a problem. But if your ready so it then do it. Initial reaction may be strong but yet again over time people wont be so bothered about what yours doing with your life.
    I got a girlfriend at 15 and people found out. They labeled me as a lesbian but i knew i was leaving the school in like 6 months so i just left it. I dont see any of them people now im in college and im working on slowly telling my college friends. Seen as their 19 i think they will react okay to it.

    How are you gonna transition at 14/15, you planning on your parents paying for it or something? And sorry this is really long, i just go on and on.
     
  11. Auxibiology

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    Thanks! I'm thinking maybe I should let it be a few years, and transition later, when I can save up even MORE money for everything.

    ---------- Post added 9th Feb 2013 at 08:09 AM ----------

    Thanks! And I understand where you are coming from. I think I'll let it sit for a few years and wait until everyone's a tad bit mature. Also, I was planning on saving my own money for everything, that way if my parents don't accept it or don't want me to transition, I can do it later.
     
  12. RainbowMan

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    How do you even EARN a significant amount of money at that age? As I understand it, transitioning is not a cheap process (I'm a cis male, so I personally have no clue). Just wanna make sure you're ready for that.
     
  13. Auxibiology

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    I have chores, and I understand that its a long, expensive process. I'm going to most likely get a job when I'm 14,15,or 16, and begin transitioning when I'm out of the house.
     
  14. AgnisFlame

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    If you want a cheap binder and pcker walmart sells these packs of 3sports bras that work really well I don't remember what kind they are but I'll look this weekend an my packer was just a sock with fabric stuffed inside and it works really well for me.
     
  15. BradThePug

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    This thread is from 2013. Please remember to check the date of threads before posting :slight_smile:
     
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