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I think I love my straight friend

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Lithium, Feb 9, 2013.

  1. Lithium

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    I just turned 17. This is actually my first post. I'm not sure exactly what I can say on here or what the rules are. I've known I was attracted to guys since junior high. Mostly guys than girls, but I can get off by girls. One of my best friends, I've been friends with him since junior high, always throws mixed signals. I hang out with him more than anyone else. I grew up in a strong christian home where being gay isn't an option. Especially in Texas where I will be resented by everyone I love. Back to my friend. He told me a long time ago that he doesn't support homosexuality, but the things that he does make me question that he might have changed. Since junior high, we've always slept in the same bed when we hung out. We still do now. The other day, he woke me up at 3 in the morning while i was sleeping, because he wanted to sleep over (he's my neighbor). So he stripped down to his boxers (I was already in mine) and jumped in bed with me. I was pretty surprised when he spooned me. Our bodies where completely touching with no room in between. This being the guy that I think I'm in love with. When we woke up, he had morning wood, and started acting like he was jacking off. I just laughed at him and turned around in the bed. He even showed me the bulge in his underwear. Then he started saying things like "Lets compare sizes", and "I'll suck you off", but he sounded like he was joking so I just kept laughing. That's when he poked me in the back with his hard on telling me to suck him off. He's always does stuff like that for years. But he's also had his fair share of girlfriends. There's been tons of other stuff like that too, like sending me pictures of his junk on "snapchat" all the time, but I just want him to know how i feel, and I can't risk his friendship. Does that sound like a guy whose curious, or just really positive he's straight? What should i do? (Sorry for the long post, I'm just confused)
     
  2. TyRawr

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    You are defiantly entitled to be confused, thats for sure. I would have to say that your friend is giving mixed signals. But it may or may not really mean anything. Let me share a little bit to much about myself.

    When I was coming out to my best friend from childhood in high school I thought I had a really big crush on him, and he had tons of girlfriend (on the other hand so did I), he kind of gave mixed signals as well. We even went so far as to mutually masturbate. But he is one of the straightest people I know now, and Im one of the gayest people he probably knows now. You cant always be %100 of what is going to happen. But convincing yourself that everyone is going to hate you, you will be totally alone if you are authentic is rather crippling. There is a whole world out there, if the people you tell dont accept you totally, they will in time, but meanwhile there are tons of other people that you havent even begun to realize are there for you. You just have to make the commitment to finding them!
     
  3. Lithium

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    The reason I say that, is because I go to a catholic school and everyone I know is strongly against homosexuality. I just need someone to talk to, but I don't know who or how. I would ask for a counselor, but my parents would question why I need a counselor, and I'm sure they would only allow me to get a Christian counselor. I feel like a Christian counselor would just try to help me NOT be gay, and that's not who I am...
     
  4. themonkey319

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    Hmm I definitely understand mixed signals but... the poking with the boner in bed is like the universal signal for "let's do something." That's a really extensive joke if it is one, and you'll have to pardon the pun.

    I used to do play-gay stuff with friends all the time. Even though I am gay, I really don't believe they were. It's just what some guys do with each other. I think of times where all of us would end up naked (strip poker/pool/whatever), or just random like "sack tapping," grabbing butts, just stuff like that. If we were on trips like with the drumline, we'd always have to share a bed with someone and occasionally little gay jokes would happen. Teenage boys are just ridiculous. All this being said, I cannot even fathom the reaction of a friend if I or anyone else poked someone in the back with a boner. Things would instantly go from joking to "DUDE WTF! You're sleeping on the floor you weirdo" if I had to guess. And never, not even jokingly, would one of them request to be sucked off.

    I'm not saying your friend is gay because I obviously don't know. Were I a betting man, though, I would put money on him actually wanting you to S his D. If you said "Alright whip it out," what do you think he would say? More importantly, would you want him to whip it out? (Btw, just because he's had his fair share of girlfriends doesn't mean a thing. I've had my fair share of girlfriends)
     
  5. Rexmond

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    One of my friends jokingly asks me to suck him off, and fuck all the time. However he knows that I am gay, but I only recently found out. He has been so supportive, he's become one of my closest friends, whereas before we hardly spoke (outside of school). Honestly, it is only natural to fear the worse outcome, it stops us from doing a lot of things. You and your friend have a tight relationship, I doubt it would take religion to break it. :slight_smile:

    I could be wrong though.
     
  6. Auxibiology

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    You have every right to be confused. I would be confused if a guy I liked started doing that to me!
    Understand that when he does this, he may either be joking, or he could be serious. But like what EZ2Bmyself said, that's pretty far for a joke! Try to ask him about the LGBTQ community. Or you could just try to figure it out yourself.
     
  7. Ace

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    I would almost consider asking him up front. OR you could just act off of one of his signals and see what happens :slight_smile:
     
  8. Lithium

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    First off. This is my first time ever telling ANYONE that I am gay (even though you guys don't know who I am), and secondly, thanks for the great advice guys, everything you guys are saying is helping me figure this out. Needless to say, I'm pretty happy I found this site. Anyways, I'm starting to think that he might be curious maybe? So I'm debating on how I should try to figure him out... Asking him about his views on the homosexual community, or making a move on one of his plays like what EZ2Bmyself said. And to answer your question EZ2Bmyself, yes, I would :icon_redf but i would be just find he he just wanted to talk about it with me. Although, If he is curious, I'm assuming he would be more interested in experimenting...
     
  9. OMGWTFBBQ

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    lol are you serious?

    you are too kind. Really, ANYONE who voluntarily gets into my bed is either fairly subjected to questioning or fooling around lol.
     
  10. Lithium

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    lol either he's not interested, or he is. I just HAVE to know a sure way to find out without loosing my best friend! :bang:
     
  11. Lithium

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    How would i ask him? and how would i react to his signals? I just dont want to freak him out..