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With gay people making up so little of the population...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Andane, Feb 9, 2013.

  1. Andane

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    I sometimes feel that I may never find love or that special person. I mean, the accepted number is that 1 in 10 people are gay, but I've heard it may be even less than that. I just worry that with so few people available in the first place, I may never find someone. This especially bothers me because one of my biggest aspirations in life was to fall in love and get married and all that good stuff. I'll be going to college soon, and I hear there are a lot more people out and open there, but still, that'll still only be a small portion of the total amount of people. I dunno, maybe I'm stressing too much over it, but it's something that's always bothered me.

    If anyone can offer some reassurance, it'd be greatly appreciated :confused:
     
  2. photoguy93

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    Well, you seem a lot like me. And you are out to most everyone, right?
    Yeah, you are worrying about things you shouldn't have to worry about until you get older.

    I was thinking about it recently. I came out to my friends when I was about 15. I went through being harassed at school, and dealing with NEVER having any relationship with anyone I could ever be intimate with (never do online relationships. They suck.)

    But people who aren't out have the luxury. They can fool around, "experiment"... but we are stuck.

    My point is that we know what we want. It just takes time for people to come out. I don't really buy the whole "really small population" thing. Yes - we are a very small population, but there's more people than we think.

    Just stay strong. I can't tell you it will happen anytime soon. But just know that you'll have a much better chance once you get older (oh, and if you live in an open area. I live in a conservative area. Yuck...)
     
  3. nevashiva

    nevashiva Guest

    I think what happens is one day you will love your self enough that you won't feel that your life would only be completed if you fall in love and get married and all that good stuff :slight_smile:.

    You will feel if it happens great, but it won't make you like your self any better, thats what I think a better thing to work on, how to be comfortable with your self no matter what is going on. You get better at doing that the older you get and the more you see how many walks of life are out there.

    Besides trust me there is a lot of people to meet, but whats important is to feel comfortable enough with your self, to not sabotage your own chances by your own hands :slight_smile:!

    So do not worry! I assure you.
     
  4. Pret Allez

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    It is hard for those of us (including me) who are more strongly attracted to our own sex, because our orientation is fairly rare. But the thing is, because we're rare, we have a tendency to develop connections. We want people to know that we are gay or bisexual.

    So while there's fewer of us around, there are still many possibilities to connect. There's always LGBT centers and the internets.
     
  5. Motov

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    I think we need to just be ourselves and the rest will take care of itself. I know the numbers are higher than what statistics show because of the mighty closet.
    We need to let people know we are the same person they have always known, except when it comes to "bedroom" and the "games" played there. And really, it isn't anyone's business what goes on in my bedroom anyways, I do like to keep that separated from my daily life, like everyone else does.
     
  6. Andane

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    Well, I don't think it's really an issue of not being satisfied with myself or anything, it's just that (as cheesy as it sounds) I've just always dreamt of falling in love and spending my life with someone. And yeah I know I'm still only in high school, and I don't mind so much that I can't find someone now, with everybody still being in the closet and all. It's more my future that I was worried about.

    But that's also a good point, I guess all those surveys don't account for closeted people, and nowadays more people are coming out. It still kinda sucks that the dating pool is so much smaller than for straight people though :dry:
     
  7. photoguy93

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    And I've always been, well...jealous. Also, I've wanted to know that I matter (to a guy.) I had been talking with a guy I met (online, like I said - not the best idea.) He was like "ohh, once you have sex you'll realize it's not what it's cracked up to be." That's nice - please, continue to tell me how it isn't that great. Continue to tell me how it's great to cuddle. All that jazz.

    I don't need a man to complete me. I just think it would be nice. It would be nice to know that I won't be alone (with a guy) for my whole life.

    Sigh...at least we can all be here!
     
  8. Stridenttube

    Stridenttube Guest

    I look at it this way. If you're out, other people are going to know this and seek you out. Straight guys almost always have to initiate everything where girls expect to be hit on. That goes out the window with gay guys. Sorry if you don't get what I'm saying. I'm very tired haha.
     
  9. wizardboy04

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    I feel exactly the way you feel. I'm a high school senior about to go to college next school year, and I've always had dreams like you where I would fall in love, get married, and have a family of my own one day. Trouble is, I honestly am still coming to terms with my own sexuality too, and it's just hard because I'm afraid I'll never find someone either, because there's just not that many available, especially since the area I live in is so conservative and uptight...it's hard to come out and tell the truth and find love. Don't worry, though. You're young, you have a whole future ahead of you, and I also did hear that in college, more people are out and open, and I'm sure you're going to find the right guy for you in time, and you'll be the happiest person in the world. I have complete faith in you. All you have to do is keep an eye out, and just let your heart do the work.