I just don't understand.I just don't understand... About a year ago, I left my phone in the toilet unlocked and went to school. I come back home to find that my brother had my phone and had taken pictures of everything on my phone (to be specific : gay porn, pictures, etc). We haven't talked in 3 years as we despise each other, funnily enough he called me a puffter and a faggot for a few days indirectly but said nothing about it to my parents or even confronted me? I mean, considering that my family are religious Muslims and me being partially religious. He then caught me a second time, I left my phone unattended and he found pictures again BUT said nothing to my parents? As we don't talk, he just indirectly says faggot and puffter but only I am able to hear it as he says it quietly around my parents. Anyways, I'm always left out because I let it deliberately happen? As in, right now my whole family are out enjoying themselves but they didn't even invite me, I know it sounds weird about needing an invitation to go out on a family outing but that's how I feel. My interests and hobbies are stereotypically gay however I'm not camp. I feel that I hate myself because I'm gay, the fact I barely can keep a conversation with my family shows how isolated I am. Coming out to them is not an option, I'm currently on anti-depressants but I fail to take them regularly as I just want to be happy naturally and not because of some 'happy pill'. Scrolling down my twitter feed, I see these happy gay couples my age and I'm just so lonely and find no hope for love because I'd either find a creep or someone that isn't my type. I know my thoughts in this thread are all over the place but so much has contributed to me being isolated from my blood (family) and it branches off the fact that I'm gay.. ....Does it get better?
at 16...it seems everything is over with small stuff...and you got a big one. Not everybody dates at age 16 even straights. and hopefully your brother grows older and meets more peeps he will realize how lucky he got you and not some other jerk of a brother. (or u can slowly poison him with arsenic in his porridge) So u r a Pufter? Oops I see it has 2 ffs...I still say it don't sound bad. It sounds like my future pussycat...I will name him my Fluffy Puffter, the 1st...incase he has kids. But I suppose if he is gay, he will purr more right?? Ok less joking. At school any LGBT club, is it safe for you to make friends with members and go do stuff you like, museums or dancing whatever it is? I think just friends you can not worry abt hating you will help.
It seems your brother is a bit wild.. but he's keeping the info to himself (?) which shows some respect at least. Have you thought of setting your phone to "password protected" so nobody but you can access it? If your underlying issue is isolation .. then you could do with some work on that. Use this site, get local LGBT support; school counsellor, friends, LGBT friends. It is not good to be carrying this around alone in your head.. Isolation is basically unhealthy
