Well it took me 10 years to come true with my sexuality, I have been hiding in for that long beliving I was bi, but I never done anything to even bother going after girls, then I met this friend that I now really consider my best friend, and he's gay I told him my situation and he told me his story it took me a few days and I'm starting to accept myself. Eversince I accepted myself i felt a lot better i dont get upset over small little things anymore I'm not nervous or anything, I'm not really ready to come out, but as my friend told me is good to say to someone that's why i'm posting here i just want to come out somewhere where I know is a safe place My only problem now is that I hate lying to people still when a girl come on screen and stuff like that, but I guess it'll be fine till I'm ready to tell everyone the truth, my biggest problem as i see it, is that I have known this people for a long time and I have always aced straight around them, and I always pointed out the hot girls and stuff, so I'm really afraid that they think I'm just joking or something, and they wont fully belive me.
Well in reality you have nothing to prove. If you tell them and they refuse to admit it then that is their problem. It's one of the stages of grief anyway, so lots of people have been in the same situation. You have got one of the biggest parts over with. If you are sure you are ready then you need to tell the people you feel you can trust, and whether they accept it or not is up to them. That isn't your responsibility from then on, and although you can't help worrying about them you would have already done what you needed to do, so they would then need to do their part by accepting it. It may not happen instantly, but they should eventually. Just be prepared to get asked questions on it. This is mainly for them to attempt to understand it rather than for them to interrogate you. Good luckski.
First of all - welcome to EC! I hope you find it very helpful here. I am in a similar position to you in that I'm your age, and have also taken about 10 years to come to terms with it all. Whilst I'm currently identifying as bisexual, from friends I am still concerned about the whole "how come you lied to me for so long" reaction - more so, actually, than a homophobic response (from friends anyway). I know exactly what you mean about when your friends discuss people of the opposite sex, such as on the screen or something - I always notice the women, but until now have expressed opinions about the men. My current policy is to not comment upon the men, or men in general, even if I am not out to the person. So I am not looking forward, with old friends, to being asked what that was all about.. Obviously I don't know your friends, but surely if you made it clear that you were serious, they would soon realise that someone wouldn't push the fact that they're gay upon their friends unless they're serious? I mean, they may not believe you at first but if you hold firm and don't express any doubts unless they're going into their own denial or just plain dumb they must realise you're telling it as it is at some point. Although, however, this probably means that you will have to discuss it more with them to get your seriousness about it all across - if you really think they'll think you're joking, you probably can't just drop it in as a one-liner and then get on with things. Which kinda sucks I suppose. As regards the years of your ostensible "noticing" of women, and not having come out sooner, the way I am planning to phrase with my similar to older friends is that I wasn't out to myself yet, and that therefore, there were no lies involved. Although how that will go down, I don't know. But like you, I feel that having come to all this a little later than some others on EC, I have some back-tracking to do. Which is hard. Good luck
