Do I really have to be an expert...

You, just have to be you.

If someone is that interested in questioning your secuality, guide them to some informational sites. You're not an encyclopedia.

 

l get "trying too hard" vibes from "experts' lol.

why are you worried about people seeing you as a fake? l'm sure some people wouldn't think l'm gay. Though some people do, even though it's not obvious.

l think more perceptive people will pick up on your true self and really these are the only people l care about.

The people who think l'm a confused or angry straight girl see all women like me the same way.

 

I can understand the people thinking you're a fake!

I'm right on the line of coming out but every time i feel ok this is it i'm telling so and so i get this thought in my head that they will not understand. I think because these people have known me for years and have never thought for one moment that i'm gay it would be impossible for them to believe me. They do mention to me that they never see me hitting on girls or taking things further when girls who show obvious signs that they are interested in me. I think to myself that my circle of really close friends have discussed my sex life between them when i'm not around but sort of come to the conclusion that i'm just not interested in having sexual contact with people. But at the same time the fact that i show no signs that i'm interested in women and have even told girls who have flirted with me that i'm gay then laughed about it with my mates that it might make sense to them and won't be that big of a surprise.

---------- Post added 10th Feb 2013 at 07:25 PM ----------

You don't realise who you are,
you choose when to accept who you are.
When other's realise who are, those who matter will choose to accept who are.

 

I went trying to be an "expert" because A. I'm a huge geeky nerd dork anyway, and B. the person in denial for me happens to be a straight girl that's trying to change me so she can continue our relationship. Well less and less so every day now, but the point is I felt like I had to know what I was talking about or else I'd end up in a bad situation. It also helps when my head feels a little messed with to know stuff and hear what other people think.

I'm getting mixed results from the whole expert thing. You do things the way that works for you, 'cause my way sure as heck isn't guaranteed. If you don't wanna talk about something then don't. Let people figure you wrong.

Just don't let 'em make decisions for you, that's the hard part. It's crazy how people will try to "fix" you.

 

You mean you haven't received your introductory information packet yet?! Someone is falling down on the job in the mail room again!

More seriously, you don't need to be an expert on all things 'lesbian' (or 'non-straight' in general) any more than straight people need to be experts on all aspects of their history or sexuality or whathaveyou.

If there are aspects of it that interest you, then feel free to learn about em at a pace comfortable for you. If you find yourself in a situation where you need to defend against ignorant comments, you may want to learn about it so that you have 'fact ammunition' ready to hand. Know something about LGBTQ history and the contributions we've made to the world might give you a sense of pride and/or connection to the wider community if you'v. Ultimately however, you are under no obligation to learn about anything.

It's apparently a somewhat natural human reaction for people who are ignorant about a particular group to turn to someone who they know/perceive to be a member of that group for information if they have questions. They also seem to assume we all know each other for some reason

Some possible responses to this can include:

a) "Durned if I know. I'm still new to all this, myself. Let me get back to you on that."

b) "You know, Google is your friend!" (Warning: this can be potentially risky given the amount of bad information on Google, so use this one carefully).

c) "You know, I don't know the answer to that one either. I'm not an expert on all this any more than you're an expert on all things straight. Why don't we rev up Google and find out together?"

Or something like that.

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

Though it can be interesting and fun to read up about lgbt history and what-not there's no secret society of lesbians that's going to shun you if you fail some test. Then again I'm a guy so if the society is secret you better start studying! But in all seriousness, you have nothing to prove to anyone. The only really important things to read up on is are health things such as how to have safer sex.