Help!!!

i understand you may hate this....but have you skyped with her? do you know she's real?
because i have a lot of experience with that.

before you worry about jail or age...

you need to worry about your safety first

 

well...then...

im not sure. i can look it up for you
i thought the age rule mainly applied for a adult male dating a minor female

 

the reason why i said was because my ex lied to me about who she for 3 months. had this fake email and all that.

turns out her name was scarlett. the pictures she sent me we real. just her name wasnt...thats why i asked.
we eventually skyped to double check so...

now we are going our seperate ways

 

yeah 7 months we talked in total then when i finally forgave her for lying to me , i offered to try again.....she wanted me to move on because she's insecure....i always get these stupid dysfunctional insecure girls. im sick of it

anyways , i cant find any law on it specifically for that so i think you may be good except maybe the parent can ask for an arrest although you haven't done any sexual activity

 

I don't know if law would consider it to be grooming or not.

---------- Post added 10th Feb 2013 at 09:13 PM ----------

Maybe it only becomes grooming if it leads to physical contact.

 

Grooming is basically the process of "buttering up" another person in order to get them willing to do things they may otherwise not be comfortable with doing. It typically refers to getting people to engage in sexual acts in a "consensual" way. It's the kind of behaviour online predators engage in.

I can't tell you specifics on the law, but I can guarantee you that if a girl/girl relationship isn't equal to a boy/girl relationship, it's most certainly viewed as worse. You aren't going to luck out any because you're not straight.

Even if this isn't illegal yet, this is a bad idea on many levels. While you might be happy now, have you ever considered why this 19 year old girl can't find someone her own age to connect with?

Here's one last piece of food for thought: if you have to be this worried about the law just so you can be in a relationship and be happy, doesn't that raise a sort of red flag for you? (i.e. maybe this isn't such a good idea)

 

I want to respond to this, but I'll start by saying it is really hard to form an opinion when I barely know you and most certainly don't know your girlfriend.

When I mentioned the question asking why she can't find someone her own age to date, what I was referring to was the idea that oftentimes in cases like this, one has to wonder why a 19 year old is dating at the level of a 14 year old. Of course, there are exceptions (i.e. really mature 14 year olds), but not very often would an emotionally sound 19 and 14 year old be at the same level of maturity.

Which leads me to my point... perhaps this girl isn't as emotionally sound or mature or whatever you'd like to call it as she should be. That's not necessarily a bad thing, and if that is the case she can get help for it. But what I am saying is that if that is the case, dating someone of your age is not the way to solve her problems. And developing an unhealthy attachment to anyone is not a good thing, certainly to someone younger than her... even moreso when the legalities get involved because you're a minor.

I'm really not trying to tell you your girlfriend is unstable or something - in fact, I can't do that if I don't know her. But from what you've told us, she's not sounding like the most emotionally healthy 19 year old I've ever heard of, and that raises a lot of red flags for me. Not because I should dislike her for that, but moreso looking out for your best interests.

 

I'm actually in a similar situation except I'm the adult and in love with a 16 year old. We only friends and want to wait until she 17 (the legal age of consent here) before even considering a relationship. Her brother went to jail for something similar (he was 18 and with a 14 year old who went to his same high school). Since he is my friend and know about mine and his sisters feelings he gave us a lot of advice on the situation. I also read the states penal code for age of consent just to make sure what I was doing (waiting) wasn't wrong. The problem with uour situation its hard to know if theyll use the laws in her state or yours. The best thing to do is read up on both as either one can affect you both. If you look through it and find out your not doing anything illegal then you'll be okay. But to be honest I fear that once we get together wheb my crush is legal someone might try to take me to court as they may think something happened prior to her becomming of age. Though if theres no proof there isn't much they can do... but I live in a very strict and sometimes unmoral legally county.

Also in my state they at first had worse laws for homosexuality when it comes to this but the supreme court made them remove it as it went against our constitutional rights of being treated fairly. I would never date her and wont even tell her I like her even though her brother told me she likes me. I honestly do this because even though I know where are law stands I still want to be careful and as many of the people said here I don't want to be seen as grooming even though my state law doesn't recognize that. For me its more of a moral thing because I'm somewhat close to her mom and it scares me on what will happen when the truth comes out.

---------- Post added 10th Feb 2013 at 08:12 PM ----------

Also there's no state that allows parents to give an adult consent to carry sexual relations with their underage child. At the only point this becomes an exception is if the two in the relationship are married. Anyone can place the offense and it doesn't require the parent. In fact in some states the parent can get in trouble for providing permission.

I guess what I'm getting at is it really applies to the state and its laws.