So there is a guy where I work who is openly gay. He is at least 8 years older than me, possibly more. Let me first just say I am not interested in him, its not that kind of situation. We have been talking a lot at work and my way of talking is really flirtatious even when I don't mean to be. Well I've been basically flirting with him for see verbal days. Tonight one of his girl friends started asking me a ton about my life and school and my interests and I got a 'she's asking questions for him' vibe from it. Eventually she asked me if I liked boys and I asked her if this had to do with the coworker I mentioned earlier and she said yes so I told her I would talk to him directly. So I went and talked to him and he was very annoyed that she had asked me behind my back. The awkward thing is I still get the vibe that he may be into me. I am not into him at all like that, and I should have asked him about it when we talked but I didn't. I'm going to talk to him in two days and I'll ask about it then but in the meantime what do you guys think? Has anyone been in a similar situation? How can I in a not weird way ask "were you curious because you are interested in me?" I need to be careful (and for that matter he does to) because he's in management and I'm entry-level.
If he knows that you`re gay now, and he`s interested, then he`ll probably make a move. I`d wait for him to make the move, considering he`s management, and then let him down gently if you`re not interested. But maybe I`m a bit chicken that way. It could be that he`s not interested, just curious, and that asking him straight out would create an awkward unnessecary moment. But again, I could just be a chicken in this area
I think it's a good lesson. I mean, don't change yourself - however, if there's someone who you think might be interested, and you aren't interested in them, then don't. Secondly, I've been there, in a way. There was this guy. He was sorta cute. He flirted a bit. It was a work, so nothing too overboard. He tried to come on to me - more like a flirtatious thing. Then he told me how old he was. Holy fucking shit. I about died. He was like, 30 something. I was 18.....as time went on, he got creepier. So just be careful. Wait for him to make a move on you, then let him down. If shit hits the fan, then at least you can say he was doing it all.
Hi I guess it is also possible that with him being in management he is just watching out for you and wants to make sure you settle into the workplace ok without being hassled as you come to terms with who you are. If on the other hand he was interested in you and makes a move and you are not interested then as you let him down gently you should see if he is happy as a mentor to help you fit into the workplace as a gay man Sale Gay Guy
Stop flirting with him, and just be polite. Don't respond to flirting if he flirts with you. If he does ask you out or something, tell him that you aren't comfortable with it because he's in management, and you think it could get weird with your other coworkers. But you are still just coming out, and you are glad to know more gay people. Most likely, if you stop flirting with him, he will stop thinking you might be interested. You should not confront him about being interested in you. There is no reason to bring it up if he doesn't. He's probably already really embarrassed.
Most people like to be flirted with, it's like a free compliment, and curiosity often comes up: Is he into me for flirting so much? Maybe he's neutral about wanting to date you or not, as in, he's just curious about the outcome. I bet he wouldn't take it too bad if he found out you weren't interested, maybe he'd even feel relieved. Who knows? But yeah you need to be more careful about not seeming flirty when you don't mean to.
Alright, I'll be more conscious of my flirting and just not bring it up. I do kind of look to him like something of a mentor so I may come out to him at some point but I'll definitely wait a while. At least I know the company is cool with gay people should that time come. Thanks for the advice!
