i need help?

If you do go and get in an open relationship with another guy, people are going to find out. How fast they find out really depends on two things: how public you are with your relationship (aka. holding hands, having make-out sessions in the hall between classes), and how big your school is (the fewer the people, the faster news travels). I've heard of people having secret relationships, so I know it's possible. I'm not sure how healthy those types of relationships are, though.

Why do you shape your life around what everyone else thinks of you? I personally don't know the answer, but I've been doing pretty much the same thing. Annoying, ain't it?

I'm also similar to you in the fact that I'm not flamboyant. Did people think I was gay? I'm actually curious about that, myself. You see, I'm not one to hear any of the gossip that goes on, so I really have no idea what other people thought of me. And for the most part, I didn't care.

If you do get into a relationship, there is always the possibility that other people will find out. You just need to go right now and judge how important that actually is to you right now.

Why should you care what others think? Really, you shouldn't. But one thing to consider: how much longer are you going to be going to school with them?

 

Hello, my name is Alex and I'm 18 years old. I started to come out to friends and people around the age of 16 as well. My family has never moved to another town and I've never had to switch schools. The friends I made in elementary school are still the friends I have today.

When I came out to my friends, everyone was pretty much ok with it. I am not at all what most people think of when they think of gay guys. I'm geeky, dress about the same the entire time in neutral colors, and can barely draw stick figures. When I mentioned liking guys the first time to friends, they were all really shocked. They had just never pictured me possibly being gay, but later they all sort of seemed to think it fit.. I get alone very well with girls, but have never had a girlfriend or even talked about girls in anyway but friends. So, even if some of my friends were weird about me being gay, they have all pretty much gotten over it.

Coming out is sharing something of your personal life with those you care about. While it may not be the most central part of your identity, it is you. Everyday I am meeting new people or coming into situations where I continually ask myself how "out" I feel comfortable being. At work, I just don't feel comfortable talking about that part of myself, so I don't. Though, at school, I've come to not care how open I am. When you stop caring about keeping the secret, you are free to be yourself. That freedom gives you more power over those who would gossip or taunt you, but it is difficult making those first steps.

As for a boyfriend, just wait until you find a boy who you *really* want to ask out. Just having a boyfriend to have one, does not mean a lot. Wait until you have felt a connection with a guy before you jump the gun. If you do that, then just take it one day at a time. Because, if you've found a special person to share time with, then you are stronger to face what might lay ahead.

Best of luck!

 

My advice is not to have a secret relationship; they're not healthy; they aren't nice; they aren't fun. Come out. That's my advice, unless you're in a situation where you will loose your home.

 

Congrats on more coming out! It's a great feeling to just let yourself act without running everything through the closet filter..

Sorry about your teacher's comments and attitudes. Some people just don't get it..

 

some people just don't know how to act...:eusa_naug
I can't wait for the day when stuff like that is looked at as being as mean as saying the N word.

 

congratulations! I'm so happy for you yeah pretty much all I have left is my dad too I think I'm gonna tell him soon I'm just really nervous about it. people give us crap about stuff but they have no idea how hard it is to be who we are and to tell the ones we love about who we are congratulations again! I hope everything with your dad works out great.

 

Excellent news - congratulations!! (!) (!) (!)

 

That's awesome!! Congratulations!! That really took some guts.

 

YAY!!!! congrats x 50 gagillion

 

First off, congrats on coming out to your dad! So far (as far as my family goes), I've only come out to my parents (i'm waiting to come out to my younger siblings until I'll have a few consecutive days home where i can come out to them, and then still be around a few days later if they want to talk about anything).

Second, I'm really jealous of you. There's this guy I kind of like, but I'm pretty positive he's straight (kind of kills the chance of anything happening.. :lol: ). You'll have to keep us informed on what happens with that.

 

I'm not sure if anyone likes me (in that sort of way).

While I've seen people date at your age, remember that there's no rush. I think it really depends on how you and the other guy feel about it.