ok so i have been looking at colleges and stuff and for all of the ones im considering i will probably be in a dorm, so what im starting to wonder is when i go should the subject of my sexuality be brought up to my roomates and if so how, it is just a question that ive been thinking about, PS: My top pick right now is USMMA and i cant find anything on their position with gays as i would consider it a military school
Well, here's how I see it. First impressions are lasting impressions, so if you start with "I'm gay", they're always gonna think of you as "the gay guy". Your sexuality doesn't have to be a defining part of you, in my opinion. I took that mentality and I chose to not tell my roommate when I met him. I said that I'd tell him if the time came, like if I had a boy come over or if we got really close or something. Neither happened, so I didn't need to tell him. Simple as that. Try not to worry about it. Just bring it up when it's relevant.
I am worried about the same thing, I am going into dorms next year and I applied for a single room but its not guaranteed. I worry that I may get a homophobic roommate, and if I wait for the subject to come up naturally it may be to late to change roommates.
Re: homophobic roommates... I'm sure most schools' housing departments will have some sort of plan in place for roommate switches if there's a legitimate reason. And I think homophobia for any halfway decent school is a legitimate enough reason. If you're concerned about it, it might not hurt to call up the school's housing department and talk to them.
I'm not overly worried. I am a "senior" student so i get first dibs on single rooms and I applied ~ 10 minutes after the application came live online. Were I live is somewhat conservative but I have never experienced overt homophobia since I moved to the city. I know there is some way to change roommates in the middle of the year, because not all roommates get along. I was just trying to figure out if it was better to drop hints early on and feel out the situation or not.
so what about the military school part? might that have some influence as to the social climate towards lgbt people, or should it be no different than a regular school on the issue should it come up
I'm not speaking from personal experience but I think that it would be dependent upon the branch and, ultimately, the people there. From what I have heard, the Marines are the most accepting while the Army is the least.
Just make the "interested in men" part on your Facebook visible to them? (assuming you communicate through this means). It won't ever have to be mentioned seeing as they will most likely go through your profile to see if your weird or not If not communicating through that means, I do recommend getting it out soon. I wish I had came out my freshman year - heck my roommate was gay, so it wouldn't have even been a problem. Most colleges will allow roommate switches if they seriously have a problem with it.
i havent switched my "interested in" on facebook yet because of my grandparents who are friends with me on facebook and dont know, i dont really want to un-friend them but i doubt they would be accepting
Your sexuality is a part of who you are, it's not wholly who you are. There'll be a time in conversation when mutual respect plays part. Then, that's when you should throw that in, because it's not a big deal. I understand it's nerve-racking, but the more you place emphasis on it, the bigger a deal it seems. Who cares if it's a military school. I know that will make it harder, but we're like everyone else and as a community, we should start taking on that mindset. Peace.
