I'm choosing to be Bi

There are no "shoulds" in life except those related to morality. There is no normal to which we can adhere.

 

Points to consider

• While it is possible to enjoy having sex with someone that does not align with your sexuality (not unheard of), it does not mean that you can convince yourself to like it.
• Dating girls isn't gonna change your sexuality. Romance has nothing to do with sexuality in itself. They're different things. There are homoromantic heterosexual, heterosexual homosexual, biromantic heterosexual....
• You're misunderstanding fluid sexuality. Sexuality can be fluid, but it does not mean sexuality is fluid for everyone. Fluidity in very small degrees is common, but major changes is extremely rare. It exists in a small percentage of people regardless.
• You can't choose who you're attracted in the sense of the physical-aesthentic erotic responses when it's influenced by pre-deterministic + pre-dispositioning factors. That's the common qualifier for sexuality, sexual behaviors does not necessarily determine your sexuality when that's the only qualifier for sexuality. If sexuality is defined as who you have sex with, then yes, it is possible to choose your sexuality, but as we all know that assertion of sexual behavior=>sexuality has loads of problems to begin with.
• Since it's sarcasm, I have no idea if what I said is appropriate.

 

I think we all have "all the guys/girls are..." stories. I personally think a lot of the gay guys are either rude, un-interesting, or think they know it all.

But I'm still gay. If all the guys you know are bi....then why can't you just be with one of them? I don't see the issue with them being bi. That means they will date you, right?

 

It sounds like you're really hurting right now. Why is that? All of us feel small sometimes as gender and sexual minorities. Gay men probably outnumber bisexual men anyway, except in your sample.

 

So, you're saying that you're straight but you want to have the option of having sex with guys to always be there? Kinda like a bag of candy. You prefer cherry but you want to rest easy knowing that watermelon or sour apple is always available? I don't know.

Actually that doesn't sound like a bad idea at all my friend. Go for it.

 

l really feel this way sometimes. And sure you can choose to be "bisexual" in actions, the label itself can be interpreted separate of attraction.

IDK how old you are, but l already did this once. l'm not sure what l did wouldn't work out for everyone, though.

For me ultimately it was the friendships were amazing, the relationships were bad and this is what in turned ruined the relationship and any friendship we had before that.

You see what l mean? So then l was really left with nothing, the guys who did want to sleep with me were over it and l didn't want to repeat the process.


l hate to encourage anyone to just "pull it off'' anyway but how well you can do that is a big factor, l don't know about you but for me, men commented that my vibe was weird, l made out with them "funny"(cause l never got over my dislike of kissing them) and l just couldn't seal the deal on a romantic level.

The natural timing isn't there, l don't respond to their cues because l can't feel the attraction, the list goes on lol.

 

Except that bisexuals need gay guys and lesbians to exist. And in a way, you need us.

This is untrue. Every person is able to be safe as gay as long as they aren't publicly in a relationship or otherwise visibly gay. People don't get "read" as gay when they match the gender presentation expected of them. So butch men and femme women have to go to an extra length to be noticed sometimes. On the other hand, femme men and butch women can't hide. Even if they are not actually gay, they are perceived as such. Bisexuals will therefore be safe only in so far as they appear straight.

We face the same problems as gays and lesbians, only we get the additional hostility from them. As I mentioned above, this is based on a misconstrual of the privileges we have.

 

OP, bi doesn't mean "you'd be missing out otherwise." You'd feel you're missing out if you ARE bi (no choice about it), yet you'd be fixated on your favored gender if you're mono-sexual, with little interest in the other and wouldn't feel short-changed for the exclusion.

You can try to like both genders, and I hope you get that outcome. But at the end of the day, you are what you are and you have to make peace with it.

 

I tried choosing to be a Sorceress with magical powers, but it didn`t help me any more than choosing to not be gay is going to help you

No offence, my friend, but Chip is completely right, and you should read his post carefully. What you are considering is the path towards disaster!

I get it, I do. God knows I considered dating guys, even had a few one-night stands, because lesbians were so hard to find, and when I found them, it was all so god-darned-complicated! But truth is, all that left me was a pack of disappointed angry guys and calls coming in on my cell-phone days in a row afterwards. It was shitty behavior, even though I was always honest about it just being a one-night stand. It was also useless, as guys didn`t do anything for me really, so it just left a hollow angry feeling. It doesn`t work, and convincing yourself otherwise is just a trick that severly backfires.

Maybe your community has a lot of gay men. Maybe it does not. Maybe you can find them, maybe you can move. When it comes down to it, life has so many possibilities, you just can`t give up just because the road immidiately in front of you is bumpy. You can find love and sex out there, sometimes we`ve just got to a) be a little patient b) change tactics c) change battle-ground. Maybe you do have to change something, but it sure is not your orientation! I spent 4 years of useless dating before finding a serious relationship. Some guys I have talked to elsewhere spent a decade, before they fell in love with someone, whom they are spending the rest of their life with. You probably won`t have to spend that long if you b) change tactics and/or c) change battle-ground.

Just don`t quit out on us

 

Hi,

Nine out of ten choose denial in regards to life's problems. I guess that is a valid third option.

Stuck

 

How young were talking and how old are you? I'm getting the hint that you just want the old you back or something, but I am presuming.