Anger at society..a phase?

I'm still angry at society. It robbed me of several years of enjoying my sexuality, in addition to damaging my mental health. If it's a phase, it's a long one for me.

 

Yeah. l mean l wouldn't consciously blame them for anything and doing so is a choice.

But l still have jealously l wish l didn't have when l see women with babies, also when talking to straight girls who pretend to be utterly and deeply repulsed by children and you know they're going to be over it by 30.

But, that's my own problem. l could have a baby someday if l wanted to, oddly enough l don't think l actually want one.

The biological urge fucks with me a lot but the day l'm actively blaming society is the day l would evaluate what is going on in my head.

l should add here l wasn't bullied for being gay and l can understand that anger.

 

Sometimes I am incredibly angry at society. Just people in general. I've been kept from having even a basic level of happiness because of people's bigotry and narrow-minded stupidity.

Sometimes I internalize all of it and hate myself. Lovely combo, that.

 

First and foremost I discovered I needed to forgive myself for buying into society at large.
As much as I want to change my past, that ain't gonna happen!
But I still have some control with my future, mainly in my attitude, I can choose to be bitter because of my poor choices I made in my past, or forgive myself and cut off the excess emotional baggage, drama, etc, and enjoy what life has to offer, We are on this planet for a short time, might as well make the best of it.

 

I have a experienced what you are talking about as far as the hate towards society but while it still exists it is not quite as strong as it was before. and the LGBT climate is not all that warm in central florida, not sure exactly where you are but when i lived close to lakeland it did not seem like a very conducive environment and if i still lived there i might still be in the closet so i think the area youre in does have a big influence on the strength of youre hatred toward society

 

I would get upset about peoples views on gays, and then i found the courage to speak up. You'll be surprised how many topple are on your side once you speak up. Now I don't get angry i just feel sorry for close minded people because they are missing out on meeting some wonderful people because of their narrow views.

 

Firstly, I love your avatar! =D

Next, I must have a problem with speaking up. Where I live, there are people who beat gays up because they are gay. I'm scared that if I speak my mind, they'll turn on me. So, I just pen my anger inside and hope it doesn't lash out. Is that bad, or do I need to work on finding a stress relieving activity, therapy?

 

Anger is a normal part of the grieving process we go through when we are accepting our sexuality. You can read an article about how the grieving process applies to gay people and our families here: Stages of Grief The article is aimed at gay men, but you can get the idea for yourself by analogy.

It's also normal to still have some anger about being oppressed by society.

 

Writing in my journal sort of helps. I have only told a VERY select group of people about my sexuality. I still have a lot of anger though. I hope you are able to speak your mind for what you are and belief, just as much as any heterosexual!

 

I hate society, because society hates me.

First, let me explain. I'm biologically female, but comb my (short) hair into a mohawk-type thing, rarely ever wear anything besides green or black cargo pants and black metal band t-shirts or black t-shirts I get from taekwondo tournaments. I carry myself in a very masculine way because, duh, I identify as male.

I live in a small rural area in southeast Texas...some days I have nerves of steel, and then some days just the idea of walking out my front door makes me want to cry because I know what will happen.
I know when I walk to my car if anyone in my apartment complex is outside there's the possibility of being glared at...I practically dive in my car sometimes because I feel like that's my "safe zone" where no one can see me.
Then wherever I'm going I do the same thing when I get out of my car. Take a deep breath and hope no one glares or says anything...which they do. I've been called "dyke" so many times when people think they're whispering...
I don't look at people because it helps me ignore the fact that they're probably glaring at me.

Every time my college does anything LGBT related, the school's religious organizations hang around or inside the cafeteria/commons building preaching and/or passing out bibles. At first I thought it was a coincidence but it's happened way too many times to not be. I was in a college-level political science class 2 semesters ago that turned into the entire class (teacher included) talking about how there shouldn't be any gay rights, and laughing about their jokes usually revolving around the only right gays care about is sodomy.

All my openly gay friends have been disowned by their families. My dad walks around the house talking about how he wants to "kill the queers!" and my mom says she's open minded because "I almost see them as people now!"

So yeah, I have some anger at society. Is it a phase? Well that depends on if people change...and that doesn't seem likely.
What helps is finding a few people you can talk to, who let you know its ok to be you.

 

I am still extremely pissed off. I have long felt that people are welcome to be stupid on their own time, but when they start hurting other people because they are and willfully ignorant then that's a problem. Especially when blind hate is justified nine times out of ten by their all powerful imaginary friend.

So no, I have no peace with my hateful and homophobic society... My patience with the states is wearing thin. Is this a phase? Maybe so, but it sure doesn't feel like one. Hate the sin and love the sinner? Give me a break...

 

Oh, I am also pissed off beyond belief. I think that once the Supreme Court rules on Prop * and Doma this summer, I will feel relief in some small way, that is if they rule correctly.

See once the religious right loses plain and clear at the highest court level on same-sex marriage in the US (which they already know they are losing on), then I will feel ok, we have finally won, and the Mormons and so-called Christians lost, end of that game.

We are having victory after victory. If you read the news daily you see I am correct. Each week there is another legal victory about gay rights, and equality in military, benefits, SSM, etc.

So this big prize I am waiting for this summer is the big one. Then it will be a landslide coming across the country. I won't be so god damned mad anymore.

 

It's almost impossible for the Supreme Court to rule correctly. We have really weak jurors right now.

 

No, we have a split court for sure. But we have a swing vote on our side. I don't want to get too into predicting the future because I can't, but we have a lot going for us, more than any time in history. Surely you know how Prop 8 went down in SF, and on each appeal, right?

Not impossible.

Doma is the less sure of the two.

 

Me, I am not looking to accept Christians at all. A good Christian can get on with their life, and leave me alone. I already leave them alone. I have never insulted a Christian or anyone else's personal beliefs. They don't even have to accept me, but just keep quiet.

I would like others to stay out of my bedroom and my life, and shut the fuck up about their hate. Just move along and be glad that they don't have people trying to make laws that close up freedom in their lives.

I really think we are on the verge of a new era. I read the NY Times almost every day. And each week there are about two major articles about gay rights, or SSM, or the military rules being changed, or the Pentagon giving same-sex spouses benefits, etc.

Every week now, in this major newspaper, I kid you not. There is a major movement going down. Kids are coming out at school assemblies weekly, and it is hitting youtube and going viral. This is making the younger kids at ages 12 and 13 seeing that it is normal, and you could come out and it could go well. This is exactly what the Christian Right is fearing, that being gay could be presented as normal, and that you could be accepted, and you could even be happy!!! Imagine that, being happy.

Yes, it is so exciting. I even read the Huffington Posts' "Gay Voices" section just to see what kid on what High School team has come out, or what company has hired a very public gay person to head up some very visible department.

Anyway, there is no going back now. I just wish I was 21 again and could reap more of these better years coming. But at least I am still young to appreciate it.

We are only a year or so of someone very big coming out, like a major movie star and sports figure at the top of their game, and not a has-been.

 

Hi,

Stupidity and ignorance are angering. Especially when the ignorance and stupidity bubbles up around a subject you are expert in.

You are normal. It should not go away, ignorance and stupidity are always wrong and dangerous to others.

Stuck