Being gay for the night

He said I can do much better than him, and should just leave him alone. I questioned him several times but he just kept saying what a horrible person he is.

you just fucking described my ex scarlett. she did that too , she told me that it was best for me to just let her go and move for apparently my sake. she kept saying she was a horrible person too...

omg ....too relatable. your not that alone on that one buddy

 

Gay people often experience profound feelings of shame--they will have the sense that they are "horrible people," and unworthy of love. It's the result of living in a homophobic society. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like these folks are ready to be in a relationship yet. They need to work through their shame before they will be able to give to another person the way that they should.

 

Random thoughts.

If you start kissing a guy you met in a bar an hour or so ago, you are not now suddenly in an exclusive relationship. Chances are he does this quite a bit. The fact that he found another guy to make out with shouldn't have been too surprising.

So after he made out with another guy and made you jealous, and after he said he's a horrible person and you're too good for him and he often attempts suicide...you decided "sounds good to me" and tried to exchange phone numbers with him. He must be one hell of a kisser. and yes, he probably won't call. (I don't know about you, but I know my phone number even when it's dead.) That's probably all to the good.

Next time, go find some quiet guys sitting on the side. Go chat with them. See if you can make some friends instead of a hook-up for the night.

Lex

 

My assumption is that he's simply a liar who wants to have physical fun with a lot of different people. Even if it is all true, it's not worth spending the time on him. You don't have to repair his mental health. Only he can do that, and your mental health is important too.

 

Welcome to the gay scene. That my friend is called a tease....or an ass, both work. Best thing i can say is most ppl at the clubs are looking for one nighters or hangouts. In my expriance it's really hard to find someone with actual intrest.

 

i guess going to gay bars is just part of the experience but it hardly the best place to pick up long term relationships

take it one day at a time and keep safety first

 

Hi,

Did you just look in a mirror and found the reflection shallow?

Personally I would not put stock in anything a tease says. Every word and action is simply to draw somebody in. Come on... This guy gives out his phone number 10 times a night yet he cannot recall it from memory for you!!???

Smell the coffee!

Two guys looking for a casual, disconnected physical experience and one gets jealous because the other is better at finding similarly minded men seeking the same.

Lex said it all. I would examine your own motives and actions rather than some anonymous guy.

This all about you in my opinion.

Stuck

 

So there are two main reasons for this guy's behaviour that I can see.

1: He feels bad for kissing someone else and admits he's a horrible person and thinks you're too good for him. Unlikely because he doesn't know you and so he has no idea whether you're too good for him or not, or if this other guy is horrible enough to be with him or whatever.

2 (more likely): He finds it acceptable to say these things about himself, lose all the respect people have for him and be a bit of a dick just so he doesn't have to make a commitment. He used himself being horrible as an excuse to kiss other guys. Probably happens a lot more often than you think because, unlike you, this guy just wants to get off with lots of different people in clubs (especially easy to do for "hot" people, because of vulnerable people such as yourself).

My advice? Don't go for the "hot" people. Not saying these people are more likely to be that way, just that it is possible that people gain the arrogance required to do it through being "hot". If you really are looking for some kind of commitment and not just some fun, why do you only go for people that you think are hot anyway? Decide what it is you want. It may be that you are really after the same thing.

 

Yeah, I am sorry, but I think they`re right. He just wanted to have a whole lot of fun with a bunch of different guys, and play around the bar. I doubt anything else was ever really an option to him. Instead of being honest with you, he gave you a bunch of BS, so that you`d pity him instead of realizing you were being played. Women do it too. Don`t feel bad about it though, it happens to most of us at some point. I agree with what one of the others said, next time sit down with one of the quiet guys. Don`t be too eager on the hot guy who`s more than eager to make out, they are rarely after more than a make out session and possibly a one-night stand. Which is fine, if that is what you are after as well. If not, then do yourself the favor and look for someone else

*hugs!*

 

You get different types of people, those who are all about a quick fling with no stings attached sex and those who are more into steady, solid, committed relationships... What are you looking for, a fling or a relationship?

Hooking up with someone the way you described is what I call a fling, something that has no stings attached to it. If you want a relationship, hell there's tons of online dating sites where you could meet people and get to know them before actually meeting up in person. You'd be able to weed the guys out pretty quickly who are on there for sex as opposed to those who are genuinely looking for friendship and the possibility of a serious relationship. If the guy starts asking for naked pictures or theres sex talk early in your correspondence it's a dead give away that he is obviously only interested to get you in the sack.

On the other hand, good discussions over time will give you a good indication whether a guy is genuine or not and that could eventually lead to a date where you could meet in person and get to know each other better... If there is fireworks it might lead up to a very nervous first kiss that will move the world for you... That's the whole magic experience of falling in love... Very different from the experience of snogging a complete stranger in a club...

So decide what it is that you want...

 

This. I mean all there is to it is when you start clubbing it up...well...some of the guys are douches. Especially to newbies.

 

you kissed a guy in a club, it doesnt mean anything. everyone does it, well a lot of people do. im not too sure why he said he needed to talk to you because you werent together/in a relationship you just kissed, props to him though for even talking to you about it. he should of just said the truth that he didnt want to get with you/you werent on the same page but he gave a load of excuses which wasnt fair to you. no offence in the post you put 'my guy' as if he was yours, he wasnt :/

if thats the first time youve kissed someone in a club, you have a lot to learn. (*hug*)

you probably wont meet a guy who you can be friends with in a club, well at least not first. most people who make out/kiss people in bars are mostly only into one thing, sex. as someone else said go and talk to the quieter people who seem to be alone. but then again a club isnt really where you can talk to people at length lol.

no all guys arent like the guy you met but most people in clubs do just want a fun night out like he did.