Scared (bi)

Well, it sounds like nobody has to tell you. You seem to have already told us. Question is, how does that make you feel, and why?

 

Don't be afraid about your sexuality. You are defined by your own feelings and urges, not by a test, or society. Try to understand your feelings, however difficult they are to figure out.

 

Welcome to Empty Closets!

It does sound to me like you are bisexual. You seem to be kind of upset about it and resistant to it, though. Do you want to talk about that? Is it a bad thing, if you are bisexual?

 

yeah, don't fear these thoughts or feelings. Go with the flow that your mind sets - don't resist, it'll make you more frustrated. If it passes or stays or intensifies - it's still you and you should give thought to that. It feels great to sit down and figure out what's going on in your own head. Personally I love being bi, it's awesome to be able to feel stuff for guys and girls. Good luck and it seems like you should be able to figure this out soon.

 

You're afraid that you may become attracted to those of the same sex? Or you afraid that, being bisexual, you'll "become more promiscuous" (which is a myth)?

 

Ah okay. If I may, is there a reason why people need to know what you do in private?

 

Maybe try porn?

 

yeah try porn, that was n good indicator for me also. I like heterosexual porn more than gay or bi porn though(now) but some bi and gay stuff is on fire lol.

 

Well, your responses to real life people are actually more important than your responses to porn--although, porn is a better indicator for men than for women. (Women frequently like porn that is not in line with their sexual orientation. If they like porn.)

But you didn't say how things went with the porn.

There is no reason to think you aren't really attracted to guys. You have had feelings. Your feelings are real. I don't know for sure how often you will have similar feelings in the future, but what already happened is something real, and a real part of you. So, it would be good to acknowledge, at least in your own mind, that you are at least sometimes attracted to men.

Your fear that you might not really be bisexual, and what if you're wrong, is a very common part of denial. I hear that from people all the time. So, it's a totally normal part of the self-acceptance process. But it isn't rational, and does not reflect the reality of the circumstances.

 

Porn is not an indicator of sexual attraction. We just like seeing people in erotic states.

 

You said you watched some porn. You didn't say what kind of porn you watched, or how you responded to the different kinds of porn you watched.

 

Well, as I said, just people getting naked and enjoying themselves sexually can be erotic for us. There are all kinds of lesbians who enjoy gay male porn. They are still very lesbian.

What I would consider more indicative of orientation is who it is in real life you find attractive.