so a while back i came out to my friend who i kind of like and i was pretty sure was also gay but when i came out to him he said that he wasnt gay if that was what i was getting at and i havent seen him but once since then and i used to see him almost every day and i feel like he is avoiding me, i also am having trouble believing that he is actually straight just by the way he acts (cuddling with guys, making gay jokes directed at himself, one time he even jokingly called me his lover, etc.) what do you think of this situation, did i ruin the friendship by coming out to him (i didnt tell him i liked him)
Have you attempted to speak to him since? Like, making it clear that because you're gay it doesn't have to make the friendship any different than what it was before If you really think he's gay he could just be deep in denial.. It's hard to say.
i havent tried to talk to him since, but i miss seeing him even in the hall between classes, i really dont know how to start a conversation with him if its not in person, but if it is the conversation usually just flows naturally as we have a lot in common and even if he is not gay i still want to at least be friends with him
Like Tycho said, its hard to tell. You know him better than anyone. It could just be he is in deep denial and he COULD like you as well, but the fact that you are gay means that he has to face his "gayness". But, you know him better than any of us. Talk to him. If you think he is avoiding you, and i'm guessing because you used to see him all the time he is one of your closer friends, call him out on it. Respect him enough to tell him when he is being a doucher (if he is in fact being a doucher ) But, talk to him first. You can't do anything really without talking to him first
He very well might be gay, on the other hand, he very well might not be. Thing is, maybe you are a little bit more accepting of your sexuality, and IF he is, maybe he's not quite as ready to be ok with it yet. Try and talk to him, and make sure that things stay ok. They will only be as awkward as you let them, and just be authentic with him, and take whatever he says with a grain of salt. Ive learned to not really judge people when they react a way I dont like, because people are all kind of fighting their own wars. Come from love, get love,
If you need a simple way to approach him, next time you see him at school approach him and start up a casual conversation about a school related topic, and then diverge into this topic. If you don't see him at school, do the above but over facebook chat or something.
