Hi. So, recently I've been having a really hard time accepting myself. The other day at church, the pastor asked the congregation to pray for people that have strayed from the church, and my mother prayed for her step brother, (who she thinks is gay). After all this happened, my parents proceeded to talk about how hey believed that homosexuality is wrong, and that homosexuals go to hell. This really bothered me, and I feel like I am committing a crime against god every time I think about guys. My parents have really made me disgusted with myself, and I feel like I am completely worthless. I've seen that Matthew Vines video on youtube, but I really don't want to go to hell. I really want to believe that I wouldn't go to hell, but I've always been taught that homosexuals cannot enter heaven. On top of all of this, my parents are constantly putting me down, and today my dad said that just about everything that I have ever done was mediocre. I feel like if I came out to them, it would crush their dreams of having grandchildren and that they would despise me. I really don't know what to do about any of this.
Oh wow... I'm so sorry you had to go through that... Let me just say that I like to use this prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Do not heed the words of those who say a group of people they do not understand is going to hell. Yes, there are negative verses in the bible about homosexuality... there is about practically everything you can think of, but through Jesus we are a new Creation... we are no longer to be looked at through worldly eyes because GOD is our judge at the end of the day... not people.
Look, you are just 17. And very soon you will be able to get outta there and away from them. I am far more concerned about your parents putting you down than the gay/church issue. This shows that your parents are not supportive and uplifting which you so need at this time. I think you need to stand up to your parents on the issue of you being mediocre. It might be hard, and not go smoothly, but you need to stand up for yourself. Like say well, I must have been raised mediocre then? Or maybe I take after my dad??? Or ask them if they think they are helping your by the put downs? In some small way, you standing up to them might shut them up a bit, or shut them down for good. You must do this for your own good. Tell them that you are a person who deserves respect regardless if they agree or not. Don't get into religion or gay stuff, just the simple issue of kindness. This will be good for them to hear. I had to do the same thing to my dad at your age. But I did it nicely, and simply asked him in private why he was such a putdown? He failed to give me any good answer, but he stopped doing it after I called him on it. He just had no answer. This is what you can do too. Bring it up in a nice conversation, not in the middle of an argument. This will make you feel good, and make the parents back down if you do it right. You are not sick, you are fine. PS I love Rubber Soul, but like the White Album the best.
You are absolutely fine the way you are. If I were you I'd want to leave home as soon as possible, because this isn't a positive surrounding for your development at all. Your parents should stand behind you, whatever decision you make for yourself. They've no right to judge you. And I don't want to come across as insensitive, seeing as I've never been raised religiously myself, but please do not listen. Believe in what you want, religion-wise, but don't let it tell you you're wrong or will go to hell or stuff. Do you want to go to church or do you have to? I'd try to distance myself a little from that, if I were you. Associate yourself more with positive things.
There's so many of us who have had to and still try to figure all of that out. Needless to say its not the easiest road to be on, but its also not quite as dark and doomed as we are made to believe it is. If there's one thing that I've realised over the last few years it is that there's a difference between Religion and Faith. Religion is something that is man made, it was formulated and is still formulated with the principle objective of controlling a population. It is used today as it was used in days when Jesus walked the Earth to control people and have them conform to a set of rules. For interest sake, if you go back and look at the kind of people Jesus hung out with back then you'd realise that they where pretty much the outcasts of society, and sure as hell the Pharisees and "religious" folk back then had no scruples pointing that out and judging Jesus because of it... Kind of ironic if you think about it. So what exactly was the message Jesus preached? If I'm not mistaken it was that we should love God above everything and that we should love those around us as much as we love ourselves. He also specifically said that we are not to judge others and forgive those who wrong us. Finally, the biggest message of all, that whom ever believes in Him will be forgiven all their sin. He didn't leave any small print that excluded anyone based on certain requirements, yet religion would love us to believe that there is fine print and that they are the guardians of that small print... (Which they are since they invented it) Now ask yourself how many of those rules those religious folk calling themselves Christians keep? They don't want to be seen or associated with the outcasts... E.g. Gays, prostitutes, homeless etc. they tend to be more concerned e.g. more in love with material things and their own standing in their communities than actually putting God above all of it. And as for loving their neighbours.... Seriously, rejecting someone because of their sexuality sounds very loving to me and then we haven't even touched the subject of Judging others, they seem to think its their holy right to judge and condemn others to hell... How very un-Christian like of them, don't you think? Now we know who the hypocrites are. I'm not going to go tough all the various passages in the Bible but know this, the very same passages thy use to condemn homosexuality actually condemns every single person walking this earth. There's not one person that's not guilty of at least one of the sins that's mentioned in that verse, does that mean everyone has a one way ticket to hell? I don't think so. When in doubt, why not go back to the original message Jesus preached and live your life according to that?
