My ex boyfriend is still in love with me and says he can't go on. He feels like nobody likes him and has a very low view of himself. I care about him and want him to be happy but I simply can't get back with him out of pity. How can I help him?
I think it's a form of manipulation, but if he's serious then he needs to get help. I think you can be there for him to help him through this difficult time without actually being with him. Keep him talking and busy and try talking some sense into him. He's hurting at the moment and things will get better in time.
Ultimately, all you can do is encourage him to find a way to help himself. Tell him, if he really feels that way, you are not the person to help him. Rather, he should be looking to friends, family, professional help (if he truly needs it), or just to take some time to focus on himself. I'd also personally avoid letting him convince you to spend more time with him, etc. It will most likely just be frustrating for him when you do not reciprocate his feelings, and difficult for you if he continually plays the "I need you" card. He may very well need help... But you are not the person he needs help from. And please don't take that the wrong way; but it is simply a too emotionally complicated situation to be helpful to him.
Pinklov3ly is right on target. Whether your ex realizes it or not, doing this is a form of manipulation and keeping you invested in him and his feelings. But that's part of breaking up - disentangling yourself from the person and their emotional life. Again, as has been said, maybe he genuinely needs help. But you're not the person to give it to him - the best thing you can do is get him in touch with other people (whether personal or professional) who can help him.
I agree with above posts - I think you need to move him into the right direction. But you cannot be the person to help him. If you could find a friend of his and say "Help me!" and make sure he's ok, then great. Once you do that, leave. If I had the guys I liked hanging around saying "I want to help you" I would be like "why are you around? Maybe they do like me!!!"
