Firstly we didn't date for a long time at all, maybe a month and a half. This was coming up to a year ago now. We broke up because, among other things, she kept pressuring me to tell her I loved her (which imo is impossible after a month), she was very intense. Anyway I felt kind of bad for breaking up with her, because she 'loved' me and everything, so agreed to be friends (I know that's stupid reasoning). Which was fine because at the time I was living in London and she was in [the town that I come from]. We just had the occasional facebook chat and she seemed pretty normal and over me. This summer I moved back to [the town that I come from] and...she's just turned kind of stalkerish? I don't know if that's the right word. Like, I often see her when I'm out with my friends because we know a lot of people in common (small town gay scene and all that). She gets drunk and starts talking about sexually frustrated she is, and like hugs me and rests her head on me. I always move away, I always tell her to get off me. It's very clear I'm not interested but she just kind of waits a while and starts again. She asks me to meet up and I always say no (I usually think of an excuse rather than flat out say it no though, so maybe she just can't take a hint?). She texts me weird questions like 'how often would you say you think about me?' or 'when's the last time you had sex?'. There have been times I've lost my patience and just told her to leave me alone, but she just ends up passive aggressively hinting that she's depressed and she's gonna cut herself. She talks about our break up like it's a terrible thing I did to her and I owe her for it. I usually end up apologising for being so 'mean', because, honestly I am worried about her doing something, she's clearly a pretty unstable person. The thing that got me started thinking about this was that I was looking at the google analytics for my blog, and there were multiple visits everyday from her college. I just sat there feeling intensely creeped out. It dawned on me that I don't know how to get her out of my life, but I don't want her there forever just watching what I do. The final straw is that I'm moving back to London this September and she's just accepted an offer from a uni in London. I'd laugh if I wasn't genuinely scared.
I'm kind of surprised it's the first lesbian ex of yours who makes you uncomfortable this way, but then I see that you're 21 years old so I guess that makes sense. Who knows, you might be very lucky and she ends up being the only stalker creepy ex of yours in your life. Joke: What do you you call it when two lesbians move in together? -a second date. It's just very common for lesbians to be clingy, intense, creepy and passionate like that. In all the gay scenes I've been in and known of, it really goes this way a lot. Do I have a solution? hell no. I still have one of my lesbian exes stalking me 5 years after our very clear, mature break up, no matter how direct and mean I have been to make it understood I didn't want anything to do with her anymore. She also tries to dirty my reputation and tests my friend's loyalty to me. Yes, even after 5 years. I really don't know what to do about it. Oh yes..! There's prevention that can be done. Like, try to see the signs of instability in the women you think of dating, and if they show signs, RUN! lol
I do agree with you to an extent. I've been out since I was 14, and I've had enough relationships to know that yes, they are very emotionally intense and yes lesbians are obsessed with the idea of staying in each others lives when relationships end lol. But the creepiness, I can't say I've experienced before. The way she violates my personal space, and the way she can't take no for an answer. 5 years! how do you deal with that?! Fuck my life.
