I have a crush on one of my best friends. She's much older that me, and is gay. I'm not, or at least I don't think so...I've never been attracted to another girl before. This is a first. I've had a crush on her for almost a year now and it's only gotten stronger. Do you think I should tell this girl that I like her, or just keep it to myself? I'm afraid to ruin a friendship and we've been good friends for 2 years now and I don't want to loose that. And I don't want to make it awkward either. But I think I'd feel a lot better if she knew.
That's always a difficult thing because you never really know how the other person is going to react. In high school my first girl crush was on my best friend at the time as well and it didn't go so well after I had told her. But on the other side I had a crush on my best friend (after high school) and I finally told her and she apparently also had feelings for me and we've been together ever since and it's been a year and 4 months. So really it can go either way. Does she know that you think you may be interested in girls? And also how much of an age difference is there and are you a minor (I should have asked that first)?
Heh well... I'm 22 and a senior in college, she's actually a junior technically but that's because this is her second degree. She's 38. So, HUGE age difference actually. I don't plan on actually starting a relationship with her, so I feel like I shouldn't tell her, the problem is she's my best friend and usually the person I would talk to about this. And I may have hinted about having a crush on a 'coworker' to her and her advice was 'you're still young, why not give it a chance.' I also have a long term boyfriend. So in her advice she also said that I should take a break from him and see where the 'coworker' crush went. And I did tell her that the 'coworker' was 32. So it was kind of my way of telling her without really telling her. Kind of feel stupid about that now. But, yea. Also, I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 4 and a half years. And I don't think I could bring myself to break up with him. So again my intentions aren't to start anything, just to tell her, which doesn't make sense I guess but I don't know. Ugh.
I think you should just take some time and sort out your feelings about your sexuality before you make any major life changing decisions. But yeah that is a really big age difference and based on that and everything else you said I don't think you should tell her. I have a feeling that crush may pass. I know when I was questioning, the thing that maybe "drew" me towards having feelings (or thinking I had feelings) for my crush was because she was one of the few LGBT people I knew well. Like I would almost consider it like a crush of convenience, for lack of better terms. I'm not saying that that's how you're feeling but maybe it could be that. If that makes any sense. Sometimes things make more sense in my head than they do outside my head lol. Hope that helped a little.
Well the crush hasn't gone away its been there for about a year lol. And it's not a crush of conscience because I actually know quite a few people in the lgbt community most of them being close friends, it's always been that way for me. So idk. I don't think I'm going to tell her for fear of messing up any friendship or it messing up my relationship I'm in now
Well I wasn't sure lol. And like I said you should probably get your sexuality sorted out first and worry about everything else after. Not telling her is the best decision. Just keep letting her think it's a coworker or something if you need to talk to her about it. Good luck.
