There's this girl I work with, and it seems like she's really coming on to me, but she has mentioned liking boys before, but she does things that I find to be lesbian-esk. She smiles when I look at her, and talks to me only inches from my face. She "accidently" brushes her hand against my thigh, and says she wants to hang out outside of work. However, for some reason I think she doesn't mean it. I feel like she is a straight girl trying to mess with my feelings (maybe so she can boost her self-esteem?). I love that she gets so close to me and wants to be by me, but I keep feeling like it could be a game. She doesn't seem like she's doing it to other people. The other day I went to ask her something in private, and she said loudly "Are you trying to make out with me?" and I said in a sarcastic way but also serious because it is actually the truth "No, not at work." And she seemed nervous after that, and wasn't paying attention to what I said after that. When her other hostess friend went away (I'm a server at the restaurant and she is a hostess), she starting getting really close to me, and kept trying to come near me, and said she had a valentine's gift for me (but it was a no name candy that could have been given to anyone). She was at the restaurant longer than normal, but it could be just because she ordered food and it took a long time. She has really been on my mind, and I don't know what to make of it. Does it sound like it could go either way - her liking me or her messing with me for her own self-satisfaction?
What age are you both? I presume given the way you describe things that you're out to this girl. I think you should stick to your gut here. I don't have a lot to go on, but you do. If you think she is a straight girl trying to mess with your feelings, then she probably is. The one thing that has alarm bells going off for me, and partly confirms this theory, is the loud "are you trying to make out with me?"; this sounds like she was trying to provoke a reaction and embarrass you in front of other coworkers. I've had a few — really only a few, and it's not a lot to go on — experiences like this, and it often turns out that a group of people get together and encourage this kind of behaviour in someone like this girl, because they aren't used to lesbians or whatever and thing it's "oh so funny" to mess with your head. I'd stay away as much as possible and resist any urges. If she truly is gay and is interested in you, she'll find another way. All these hints definitely sound like she is trying to mess you around a bit for the fun of it.
Yeah I agree with TwoMethod, sounds like she's just messing around, if she was gay I don't think she'd be so eager to flaunt it around like a fancy parade balloon.
Well, here's the thing. She doesn't know I'm at all interested in women, and we're both 21. And why I don't rule her out is because she always says she wants to hang out, and is genuinely friendly to me. Also, my work has probably around 8 people who are openly gay, so it's not something my coworkers aren't used to. I want to believe she said "Are you trying to make out with me?!" as a twisted joke because we all tend to joke around like that, and since I have not told her I like women, then she may not know how harmful that is for me. But I don't know. Lol. You guys are a bit younger than me, and I remember in high school people were a lot more harsh about things than people are now. Also, I really, really want to believe she has some sort of inkling of liking me.
